Real

McHenry Family Christmas Poem

2011-12-21T22:25:00.003-05:00

So, many many years ago my mother decided she was going to start writing one of those Christmas letters. (You know the ones, those letters that people write each year about everything that has happened to them, they're family, they're pets, the mailman, their next door neighbors, and that weird guy that lives on the corner.) She would write a well thought out, usually way too long letter about the happening of the McHenry clan and fold it up (folded twice, the way a letter should never be folded) and stuff it into a store bought Christmas card. The letter was OK, not super exciting but not bad. As the years went on the letters became increasingly longer until it was just out of control.

I decided to step in.

About 5 years ago I suggested that instead of writing a letter, why not write a little Christmas poem for everyone. It would be more enjoyable to read and would still get the information out that my mother wanted to share with people. This turned into one of those instances where you suggest something and it becomes your job. I've been writing this poem for my mother every since. (Although I'm writing it, I always write it from my mothers point of view since it's technically her letter, I'm just the creative genius behind it! :) I've also convinced her that there is not need for store bought cards with a letter stuffed inside. We now get nice Christmas looking paper, poem printed on the front with nice family pictures on the back.

I'll admit I have fun doing it each year and I have yet to be dissatisfied with the results. :)

May I present to you the 2011 McHenry Family Christmas Poem:

Tis the Month before Christmas and man am I stuffed,

We just finished Thanksgiving and I sure had enough.

This year has flown by with no more than a blink.

So what happened you ask, I don't know, let me think.

I've been busier this year working each day,

And sometimes it seems I have no time to play.

I still see my grand kids in spite of this rush,

So please give me a moment right now as I gush!

"The boys" they are growing with leaps and with bounds,

And with all of their smiles there's no room for frowns.

In September their birthday's wee quite a to-do,

Celebrating Aidan who's 4 and Kieran who's 2.

"My Dog" is now Kieran's stuffed animal friend,

And when he can't find him the world might soon end.

Aidan is our ham who can put on a show,

Telling stories about a rooster who lost it's crow.

In October we watched lots of trick-or-treating,

With our Kieran the Dragon and Aidan the King.

They're both such sweet boys, I love seeing them grow,

The words "Grammy" and "Pop-pop" make my heart overflow.

And how are their parents? Dan and Anne are just fine.

Dan still loves every day with his Valentine.

Dan is teaching at Harris, third grade is his crew,

While Anne's working at home as a mother of two.

Jodi's house is now for the most part put together,

So she's spent some time in more tropical weather.

She went to the Bahamas and Mexico this year,

Traveling both times with close friends she holds dear.

It seems that her life is now on a new track.

She's been spending her free time with a young man named Jack.

They get along great and both seem quite smitten.

Could it be it's the love bug which with she's been bitten?

Marti's life just keeps getting more and more packed.

It's amazing sometimes that he brain's still intact.

Her job is a challenge that leaves her quite stressed.

You would think when she's done she would go home and rest.

But no then she goes to her church many days,

And helps out there in oh so many ways.

She's using her talents to make people feel whole.

Doing work like this is what's feeding her soul.

Dave and I had an uneventful year for a change.

I'll admit that no drama to talk about seems strange.

Our health has been good and we're both doing well,

And we hope this continues into 2012.

This year we were lacking extravagant vacation,

But got away a few times each for shorter durations.

We enjoyed the escape of a few long weekends,

When we went to the mountains and the shore with our friends.

We were moochers this year so we'd like to say thanks,

To the Baron's the Pandoshes and also the Planks.

This years been a blessing of health and of fun,

So I hate to inform you I now have to run.

There's so much to do before Christmas is here,

And soon after that we celebrate the New Year.

It's nice to take this time to slow down and reflect,

And it's important to me that each year we connect.

So as we approach the big day with the New Year in sight,

I’ll say Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Here are the picture that were on the back of the poem. :)

processing...

2011-12-19T22:59:00.003-05:00

This weekend was big. If you're wondering why I haven't posted about it yet (since pretty much all of my posts over the past month have been leading up to this) it's because I haven't even been able to process it yet.

Thinking about it is overwhelming.

One thing I will say is that I was able to fully except one compliment that did stick with me...and I actually believe it to be true. Other than that I'm still cringing.

This past weekend was a good start.

Yes a start.

Not the end...the beginning.

Big Day

2011-12-17T00:09:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow (which is technically today now) is a big day! I'm nervous.

I'm branching out in a way I never have before. Playing the harp in a public venue for strangers...for fun! This is something so far removed from my comfort zone that it's almost unrecognizable. Nobody plays this instrument for fun, they either play for money or for the art of perfection...but fun!?! I'm also playing with someone else, supporting them in their music. The whole thing is a lot to think about.

I made a deal with myself. When I agreed to do this is became very apparent that this would be a huge challenge. I was going to have to break through a lot of old crap. So I decided that I would pick one day and it would be a day free from self-deprecation. A day free of putting myself down and a day full of building myself up. That day is now officially upon us.

Today I will accept all compliments that come my way.

Today I will say thank you when someone tells me I did a good job.

Today I will tell people how I got into this without hesitation.

Today I will work very hard to believe myself when I say these things.

Today I will let my friends support me in this process.

Today I will play proudly for others.

Today I will trust the encouragement of others.

Today I will push through.

Today will be great!

Harpin' it up in here!

2011-12-08T23:48:00.003-05:00

One short month ago, in a moment of weakness (or impulse) I went out and rented a harp. Some stuff kept coming up about it and I thought it might be good to have one to play around with and figure some stuff out. I'll be honest, when I rented this, I really thought that I would rent this thing, it would sit in my music room for a few months, and then maybe, just maybe I would start playing again a bit for myself on rare occasions.

BOY WAS I WRONG!!!

God had other plans. Now here I am, one short month later, playing at events the next 2 weekends...scared shitless!!!

How did this happen so fast!?! How have I gotten myself into this? Or the real question...why am I so darn freaked out by this?

This weekend I'm playing for a church event. It's going to be awesome. I've sang and played guitar a church events numerous times before. Why is this scary? My guitar skills are mediocre at best and yet I don't have one ounce of nervousness or fear when I play (and that's even while I'm playing with some really talented guitarists.) But this, an instrument that hardly anyone has enough knowledge on to know how well I'm doing, scares me.

Tonight at rehearsal I felt as though I did horrible. I messed up a few times, for some reason I was so far stuck in my head I couldn't let go and really experience what was happening. This gets me upset. It makes me not want to try. It makes me want to go back to hiding this because dealing with it is really hard.

What a waste that would be!

I'm fortunate enough to have some awesome people in my life who will not let that happened. Tonight as I was leaving, complaining about how I felt tonight went and feeling like a failure I was reminded that it's OK to not be perfect. That letting go of perfection and just enjoying what's happening is what will make this great. I was reminded that this is big and that I'm carrying this great big bag of shit behind this everywhere I go, but that each time I play a little bit gets broken off.

So how do I get to point where it's all gone?

I keep playing.

I keep putting myself out there.

I let myself be heard.

I admit that mistakes happen and that's OK.

I have fun doing what I'm doing.

Next weekend I'm playing. Playing out there, for strangers to hear me. It's scary. It's terrifying. I have this category in my mind for people who play shows like this. They're good musicians, musicians that people actually want to listen too. I do NOT feel like I fit into that category at all. Yet someone else thinks that I have something to offer. So I'm going for it. No matter how it turns out and how scared I am. If anything it's just one more opportunity for this darkness that surrounds this beauty to be broken off.

Friendship

2011-12-04T23:02:00.002-05:00

Friendship is an interesting thing.

It can be what you make of it, some people take it barely past the surface, but not me. I take it as deep as it can go. For me friends are more than just people I like spending time with. They are people I can be real with. My friends know me, the good and the bad. I want more than just surface friendships. It makes starting new ones difficult.

How do you get past that phase of getting to know the real you into the "these people really know me" phase? it's difficult for me and so I generally just don't make many new close friendships. Part of that is because I seem to have this aversion to people, but also because it's hard to find those special people who 1. I want to know and also 2. who I want to know me.

Recently I've been delving into the process of new friendships. It's been really good. I'm learning about other people, they're learning about me. We're having a blast together, we're being real with each other, They've talked a bit, I've talked quite a bit more (not hard for me to do.) One thing I'm realizing is that revealing yourself to someone else helps to reinforce who you are as a person. It's a great reminder of who I am, where I've come from, and where I want to go. It's also a great reminder of the things in my life that are important to me. Sharing yourself with someone puts you in a place where you're also real with yourself.

Today I was real with others and with myself. It was refreshing. I'm really loving this new friendship.

Music

2011-11-28T23:45:00.003-05:00

So tonight I went and played guitar with some friends. I'm trying to better my drastically lacking skills and I am fortunate enough to know people who can help me with this. Upon taking my guitar out of the case and tuning it I came to a startling realization...I have not touched this thing in almost a month!

A MONTH!!!

That is the longest I've gone in probably 2 years with out playing. At first it seemed like a bad thing but then I realized, I haven't been playing because all of my free time for playing has been overtaken by the harp.

Yup, that's right. I've been playing. But what is even better...

I've been LOVING it!

Last weekend Ethan and I got together to play. I had no expectations except that I'd get over my fear of trying to figure this out. Boy did it work. It took us almost an hour to start actually playing, but once we did I was hooked. I felt like we were both kids on Christmas morning. (One thing I love about Ethan is that he reacts to awesome musical stuff the same way I do!) We were both getting so excited about the stuff that we were working out that we would almost lose track of playing from bouncing in our seats. It was a blast! (maybe soon, if I can work up the courage, you might get to hear some of it.)

Last night I came home from a long few days off from work full of shopping, eating, and singing. Normally, on a night like this I would sit in front of the TV for over an hour and veg until I finally fell asleep. Not last night. I wanted to play, I had to play, I needed to play. So I did.

I'm not sure exactly what's happening now with all of this or where it will lead in the future but I know that I'm having more fun playing now than I ever had before. It's so worth the debt I'm in now for the rental fee.

Music will always bring me more happiness than money.

Mortimer

2011-11-14T23:55:00.002-05:00

My Mortimer is sick, very sick. SO sick that it's almost midnight and I'm considering calling the vet. The worst part is if I call the vet there's a 90% chance they will say bring him in and if I do that, it will be to say goodbye. I'm simply can not afford any more bills and I know anything that a vet will do as an emergency visit in the middle of the night will cost a fortune.

I hate the thought of choosing my cats end date due to financial reasons but I have no other choice. I simply don't have the money. I also know that he is old and reaching his end anyway but still. I hate this decision. h e thought of going to bed and waking up to a dead cat is not appealing either.

The reality is, death, no matter how you have it is not good.

It's always sad and it's always difficult...even in cats.

An Introduction

2011-11-12T13:57:00.011-05:00

I'm bearing my soul on this one!

Get ready... (this may be long)

So when I was in middle school/high school I played the harp. I started playing when I was in 5th grade. My school had a harp program and you had to be asked to play. One of the requirements was proficiency in piano. Another girl was asked before me, my rivalry. This was the one girl that was a better musician than me. No matter what she was ahead of me (lets face it, she had more talent.) When she declined I was asked. I gladly accepted. Lets face it, it was the one thing that could put me ahead of her. I started playing on a school harp that was loaned to me and after a few years of playing I had progressed enough and my parents purchased a harp for me. Unfortunately I do not have any digital picture of that beauty but it was very similar to this.

In 1997 I started preparing for college. I had always thought I would go to school for music. Music was what I was, outside of music I didn't really have much else. I had thought since I was a child that I would go to music school for piano. In 97' I lost my piano teacher to an unfortunate crime and had no one to help me prepare for auditions. I could always fall back on vocals but lets face it, singers are a dime a dozen and my chances of making it were slim. I decided to go to music school and major in harp. My third choice. After 2 years in school I couldn't take it anymore. I was the only harpist there, and the first harp major the school had seen in a long time, which meant every comp major would write for harp and I had to perform it for them. It was too much for an instrument that wasn't my favorite. That combined with the academic demands was too much and I dropped out. I continued to play the harp for weddings and such (making great money) but I always hated it. Every time a job was coming up I would dread it. I would pray that somehow I could get out of it. Finally one day I had had enough. Why did I hate this so much, it was then that it was revealed to me. I started playing out of jelousy and continued to play out of greed. Wow! AFter that day I didn't accept any more jobs and after awhile of not touching the instrument it was decided that it should be sold. A wonderful young girl now has my "baby" and I'm sure she loves it. I sold it to a teenage girl who loved music and loved piano. An unfortunate accident permanently injured her pinky which made it impossible for her to play piano. She was healing that emotional wound by playing harp (which does not require working pinky fingers!) It felt right. That left me with just my little harp. I had purchased a small lap harp wen I was in school for fun. This was all the remained of my harp "career."

Lately I've been feeling this itch to play again, something in me wants to rexamine this area of my life. I'm not sure why, I haven't thought about the harp in years.

But what do you do when you have an itch?

You scratch!!!

Meet the newest addition to my household!

(Sorry for the bad picture quality)

I thought about it for a bit and decided that I should give it a try. I rented a harp. This way if nothing comes from it I only have it for 4 months and did not wast a ton of money on this discovery. None the less, I am enjoying it so far. Let me tell you, playing the harp is not like riding a bike and it has not just come right back to me. I have to work at it. This process has revealed a lot to me.

I am different and I don't like being put in a box. The harp comes with a lot of sterotypes; beautiful, angelic, peaceful, gentle. These are not words that would typically describe me. I felt like being a harpist meant trying to be these things.

FAIL!

Then on top of that you're surrounded by lots of other harpist, young girls, who's parents wanted just that. Parents who wanted their perfect little daughters to be beautiful harpists. I was lucky. My parents weren't like that. But still, it was annoying. This time around is different. One of the things I've been doing is approaching it with a different mind set. A harp is not angelic. In the bible harps were originally used as primarily a funeral instrument, only used during grief. It was David who turned it into a something of joy and celebration. Beside that I keep thinking of David. David was crazy, he was not angelic, he was a bas ass. In his playing the harp he was basically rebeling against the norm and doing something completely different.

The harp is BAD ASS!!!

That's what I want.

I've been thinking of it as more of a percussion instrument lately. An instrument that adds to a melody and assists a songs, it's not the song itself. That's what I want. I want to use this to make someone else's craft sound better. I want to use this to back someone else up. I have no desire to be a solo instrument simply sounding and looking beautiful. What fun is that. Music is something that should be enjoyed together. My favorite part of music is playing with other people. Working together to get an amazing sound. So that's what I'm gonna try to do.

(Just for the sake of comparison.)

This has been some of my inspiration lately. This lady is Bad Ass!!!

Amazing!

Even More Amazing!!!

Kid In A Candy Store

2011-11-08T21:14:00.002-05:00

I've heard several mothers complain over the years about the check out isles at grocery stores. Every time they go with their children, they get stuck in an isle, waiting, with all of the gum and candy a child could want staring back at them. The temptation is endless! Many of my mom friends were very excited when some stores started removing the candy from certain isles, giving them the choice to avoid the temptation.

Every time I would hear someone bring this up I would think about how little of an issue this is for me. I do not have a sweet tooth. Now if every check out isle had french fries staring back at me, I'd be in a huge mess of trouble!!! After all they are my biggest weakness.

Then this afternoon I realized I have a huge exception to my non-sweet tooth. Trader Joe's Hazelnut Milk Chocolate Bars. For some reason whenever I'm there I can not resist them. I have turned into that kid in the grocery store that can't look away in the checkout isle. Without thinking I grab one on my way to the register each and every time. This needs to stop! I have no control. They are my one weakness when it comes to sweets. I guess it could be worse, they could actually be french fries! Then I'd be screwed!!!

Illness & Medicine

2011-11-06T00:33:00.002-04:00

So I've been under the weather this past week. I started with what I though was just a minor cold/cough. The cold stayed the same, the cough got worse...and worse...and worse. Finally I caved. I went to the doctors even though I felt ridiculous. Seriously, who goes to the doctors for a cough!?!

Apparently what I thought was just a cough was actually some pretty significant asthma! I'm now on a steroid inhaler and Prednisone. Let me tell you this medicine is crazy! And I know it's crazy, because it's making me crazy!!!

Prednisone has a reputation for making you feel jittery and that it does! I feel shaky most of the time and it raises your blood sugar which doesn't help either. But the best part...I am ravenously hungry!!! I mean seriously, I could eat all day long. I'm trying to hold myself at bay with 4 full meals a day but even that seems like nothing!!! Really, I mean it, I'm starving. I was away for 24 hours this weekend and it was all I could do to not act like I was going to start eating the chair I was so hungry. I made it through with the constant thought that I know I'm not actually starving, I just feel like I am. But still.

It was so good to come home tonight and have my second dinner. Yum!!! Now it's time to go to bed. I better go grab a snack before I head upstairs. (If only my metabolism was acting in overdrive as well!)

Life Gets In The Way

2011-11-03T15:08:00.002-04:00

So life has been crazy and blogging has been put on the back burner. Not because I don't want to blog but because I've been going by the method of "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in crisis and no one has done something horrible to me that has cause me extreme anger. I'm just not in a place in life right now where I feel settled. For the first time I'm seeking change, I'm just not sure what that change needs to be.

My job is stressful, very stressful for me with all of my health issues. The big problem with my health is that the main thing that makes it worse...stress. It's like a double edged sword that only seems to snowball with time. It's made me question what I'm doing. I love the field I'm in, but often I feel like I'm barely doing the things my degree qualifies me to do. It's frustrating, and recently I've been questioning a lot. I feel sorry for my work friends. This year they are seeing a bad representation of myself. Often I'm cranky, sarcastic, moody, exhausted, stressed, sometimes foul mouthed, and pretty much miserable. It's difficult because I'm not alone there in my feelings. It makes it hard to stay positive.

Church stuff is going great. I love leading these people and I'm finding it to be the single most rewarding aspect of my life right now. I'm using my music in a way that not only 1.blesses others but 2.blesses myself as well. It's the first time those two things have been completely unified in my life. It's wonderful. I've also been extremely blessed by friends this year. I've sort of appointed myself as the "untitled administrative assistant" to a friend who has stepped into a deeper leadership role. My ability to stay organized paired with his amazing talent, knowledge, and love for people has been a fun combination. The extra time I've gotten to spend with him and his wife recently has been a blast. I'm also excited to see what the future holds for music and worship at BRV. I feel like we're on the edge of something great. Just last night I was thinking how we're at a cross roads and we're standing on the corner of "going out to bigger places to learn" and "bringing people in to teach." It's a cool place to be.

I'm also embarking on a musical journey of sorts. I'm bringing back some old projects and seeing how I can adapt them to make them more "me" today. After a 10 year hiatus it seems like the right time to explore this and I'm hoping that something awesome will come out of it! I have some awesome people encouraging me and working with me to develop this into something that will represent who I am now as a person and a musician. (more to come later on this semi-secret topic!)

If I lived in a perfect world where money wasn't an issue, I would quit my job and do this church stuff full time. Unfortunately money is an issue. A big issue for me right now. This week I've been very aware of my bank account. It has made me thankful for the job I do have. Although I am a bit strapped right now, I am thankful for a job that comes with the knowledge that on the 15th, I will have more funds. It has also given me so much more compassion for those people who are strapped for cash and have no idea where there next pay day will come from.

To sum it up, life is not perfect, but it has some positive points in it. I apologize for the serious post, but it seems odd to come back after a blogging hiatus without giving some kind of update.

Go Big or Go Home!

2011-10-13T22:27:00.004-04:00

So I've been a blogging slacker! My apologizes...

Back to school is my least favorite time of the year. I'm stressed out constantly and I feel like I'm drowning in overwhelmed induced OCD. This year has been the worst. My only reprieve was going away for 4 days to North Carolina for a worship leaders retreat. (And can I just say this was a retreat in every sense of the word!) I had a blast, hung out with some of my favorite people, met new awesome people and loved every second of it. I even accidentally went to Tennessee on the way adding another state to the list of states I've have actually been to. (another post for another time!)

Who wouldn't want to play music with this view in the background!?!

My favorite photo from the trip!

While there I heard some new songs. Some were good, some were bad, but all were interesting. Worship music had been a point of interest for me lately since I have been imputing every song our church sings into it's new worship data base. It has been a time consuming tedious process (over 200 songs.) My dear friend Jim was kind enough to give us access to his data base so that some of our songs could simply be cut and pasted from his to ours, avoiding actually having to type out each song. We were able to transfer more than 50% of our music which was a huge help!

The interesting thing about having access to his data base was seeing just how many songs they have in there. If our church has over 200 I think it's safe to estimate that his church has almost 2,000. It was ridiculous. But what was worse were some of the titles. Oh, some were so bad I laughed out loud.

So here's my go big or go home moment. I've stepped (more like dipping one big toe) into song writing. I DON'T LIKE IT!!! It is an entirely new level of venerability that I just do not enjoy. It's the sharing with other people part that is so difficult for me. What if they hate it. Then it came time for a title. Oh Crap! How can I possibly pick just a few words that will be the initial judgment of this song. How do I pick one small phrase that will represent this little piece of my heart!?! It made me feel bad for judging other people's titles. Who am I to make fun of their heartfelt work?

I'm pretty sure I've chosen a title. (Don't bother asking, I'm not sharing it yet. Consider this post a huge teaser!) What I can say is that I checked CCLI and there are only 18 songs on there with the same title (and none were published by Vineyard Music.) That number may seem high but it's really not considering there are almost 100 songs with the title "Holy, Holy."

(*Phew! That post was all over the place, maybe it will get my creative blogging juices flowing again!*)

My Voice

2011-09-28T23:22:00.002-04:00

Tonight someone told me that my voice was so beautiful that they were excited to have me in their house. Seriously! It seems sad to me to be excited about something like that. Are you that musically deprived that me being in your house raises the musical goodness!?!

Besides, my voice if not that special compared to some. It almost made me feel like i had this weird sense of celebrity, which I was not comfortable with. Over the years I've become better at receiving compliments about my voice. I've even gotten to the point where I will acknowledge that it is a good voice, but tonight's comment made me really uncomfortable.

Embarrassing Moments

2011-09-22T22:12:00.003-04:00

Recently, a blog I follow has been going through the writers 5 most embarrassing moments. They are some of the most hysterical stories I've ever read. Thank God they didn't happen to me.

(if you have time and want to laugh you should check out

The Ranting Housewife.)

It has made me think, what are my most embarrassing moments? I've thought and thought and the reality is, I can't think of one. Now I'm sure that there have been things that have embarrassed me. I mean my mothers very existence embarrassed me through most of my teen years. But I can't think of any stories where I was "hide my head in a hole, find a cave to die in, change my identity, embarrassed."

I've thought about this for a few days, and the reason is...I've never let myself. Yes that's correct. I've never let myself be embarrassed. Because in order to be embarrassed you have to be noticed. People have to know your existence and I have spent most of my life trying to blend into the wall and go unnoticed. Yes, I am a musician and have spent my fair share of time on stage but then I always felt like I was hiding behind the music. All my life I have hidden behind things. Why do I do this?

Why am I so insecure that I don't want to put myself out there and be venerable? What am I so afraid of. I need to stop hiding, stop trying to order my life in such a way that everything goes as planed and nothing is left to circumstance. I want to be this way. I need to let people notice me, because I actually believe I'm worth noticing. SO... no more hiding behind my music, my friends, my organization, my busyness, or my commitments.

So something embarrassing might happen, who cares, it'll make for an amazingly funny blog post someday!!!

School's Back in Session...

2011-09-21T21:54:00.002-04:00

Yup, So school has started again, which means free time has become non-existent. I will say that I am handling it better than last year. Hardly any take home work so far and I've been leaving semi on time which is awesome! The problem is, I'm exhausted. I've been desperately trying to stick to my 10:30 bed time which is the main reason for my lack of posting (since most of those usually happen around mid-night.)

So here's my issue...housework and stuff! How do people get this done and still sleep!?! I've been walking through the door between 6 and 6:30 each night which means I have about 4 hours to get things done and go to bed. So I eat dinner, do dishes from said dinner and from lunch, prepare lunch for the next day, clean the litter boxes (2 of them,) lay out clothes for the next day. Then there are some nights when I have to pay bills, do laundry, fold laundry, vacuum, empty the trash, etc.

When is there time left to enjoy life!?!

I mean it's so depressing to think that my life consists of working and doing chores all week. Cause then the weekend comes and I only have 2 days to fit everything else in. It sucks!!! And I'm single!!! How do married people do this? How to mom's do this? When is there time to do anything. The best question is...how do working mothers do this!?! This thought in unfathomable to me! It just seems impossible.

Am I just a slow worker. Does it take me twice as long to do things then the average person? How do people just go home and relax at night!?! When do they gets things done? Do they just live in filth? How does this work!?!

Another one of life's unanswered questions. (at least for me!)

9-11

2011-09-11T22:32:00.002-04:00

So today everyone is remembering where they were 10 years ago today.

Here's my story...

I was working at an insurance agency at 69th street. One of the broker's fiancee lived and worked in NYC (not at the twin towers.) The phone rang a few cubicles over. You could hear in his voice that the phone call was serious. He kept saying "what!?!" over and over again. It was a short call, maybe only about 3 minutes. He hung up the phone and immediately told the office that a plane had just hit one of the twin towers.

This was before anyone new, before we new it was a terrorist attack and not just an accident, before it was on the news...before everything changed.

About 5 minutes later the boss had his TV on and it finally made it to the news. We all took turns cramming into his small office to watch. Then the second tower was hit. We now knew this wasn't an accident. By this point my co-worker had lost cell phone connection with his fiance but felt a little less nervous knowing she was several blocks away.

The next several hours...days...weeks are a bit of a blur. Something huge happened, something shocking, and something life changing for everyone. The thing that blows my mind about this experience were the 10 years after. I know how much my life has changed. 10 years ago I was working a job that I had gotten through a temp agency. I was not a teacher, I had no idea that I would one day be teaching blind and deaf students, I was a college drop out, and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Over the past 10 years I have moved 5 times, I have re-started school and graduated...with honors. I have gotten a job, a job that I feel I'm supposed to have. I have grown as a person, a teacher, a musician, and a leader. I have witnessed my family welcome a husband and a wife into our crazy clan (then later we said adios to one of those spouses.) I have 2 new nephews (and a puppy niece.) I have watched friends get married, have children, get divorced, move away and move into fun and exciting adventures in their own lives. But the interesting this is that through all of this, I can remember 9-11-01 like is happened just weeks ago.

Today we've all heard stories of people and their 9-11 experience. We all have them. The metaphors for this event are so numerous. Many of us have had our own "9-11 events." Things that have happened in our own lives. Tragic things. Life changing things. Thing that we will remember forever. Many of us have our own "ground zero." A place in our hearts that we have been excavating debris, remembering what was in our past and using it to strengthen and support our future. We each have a story to tell. We each have something that will impact our future. No matter what our lives look like in the past and in the present, it is our whole life that impacts our future and makes us who we are today.

Who are you?

THIS IS WAR!!! (Mortimer: once the optional name of a mouse. Irony!)

2011-09-10T02:10:00.003-04:00

About a month ago a mouse ran through my kitchen. Ew. It had been raining. Mortimer chased it. I never saw it again. I figured it left. I have never before, nor after that event seen evidence of a mouse having been in my home. I figured the rain forced it in and then it left when the rain stopped.

Last night I saw a mouse in the Kitchen again. It went up to Mortimer's bowl. He and I both noticed the little rodent at the same time. He got off the couch and immediately it ran into the laundry room. (I'm assuming it's getting in and out from somewhere in there. Lots of options with pipes, dryer vents and hot water heater.) Mortimer seemed to care less about the mouse, he was more concerned with it steeling his food. He stood guard at his food bowl for the next several hours. I on the other hand ignored it all together. I figured it would again leave and that would be the end of it.

Then when I was going to bed last night I heard one in the wall between my bedroom and the bathroom. It was scuffling around. Making all kinds of noise. Mortimer kept going into the bathroom and staring into the HVAC vent. OK so I must have a mouse problem. I hate traps. I hate killing animals. I always just hope they will leave. I'm not one of those people to completely freak out when a mouse runs through so no big deal. A friend of mine commented that it's weird that a moth will send me running like an idiot but a mouse doesn't bother me.

It just doesn't. Well at least it didn't. Until tonight!!!

I'm laying in bed, almost asleep after a very long day. I'm sleeping with my arms above my head. It was one of those miracle nights where almost as soon as I layed down I could feel myself settling into a nice sleep. Then suddenly I feel a little something on my hand. At first I thought it was Mortimer but then I realize Mortimer doesn't come up to the head of the bed. (I have him trained to stay on the comforter so I don't get cat fur on my sheets and then inadvertently stuck to my face in the night.) I quickly realize something is wrong.

I sit up, turn the light on. Could it be that a mouse was just walking across my hand...while I'm laying... on my BED!!!!! EWWWW!!! I jump up. How do I know. I look down for Mortimer. He's standing on the floor by the bed, in full on Stalk mode! All of a sudden the mouse runs out from under the bed. The hunt is on!!! I am no longer apathetic about this evil creature. I'm disgusted. Mortimer is at it, chasing the thing all over the room. (He cares now too!) EWWWW!!! It was just crawling on my hand!!!! I'm so grossed out, and wide awake now!

I have relocated to the couch. I'm not sure why but in my creeped out mind the mouse in less likely to crawl on me on the couch then on my bed. Mortimer is at it upstairs doing his job like a good cat should. I've changed my pillowcase since a mouse was just running over it. I've washed my hand (although I feel like I should have used steel wool on it and it would still feel dirty!)

Tomorrow traps are being purchased.

THIS IS WAR!!!

food for thought

2011-09-07T22:54:00.002-04:00

I once heard a great quote from a friend of mine (actually the quote came via his wife but still, lets give credit where credit's due.)

"Your job doesn't have to be your calling, but it can pay for what you're called to do."

OK so this might be more of a paraphrase because I can't remember exactly how it was worded, but you get the idea. This really hit me hard. It's so true. I've met lots of people who fit into those two categories. So what do you do when your work gets in the way of what you feel you are supposed to do? This is my current dilemma, not in a huge way, but still something that's been bothering me. It's so frustrating. For the most part I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I have a great job, doing something I love that still allows me all nights, weekends, major holidays, and 10 weeks in the summer off to do the things I feel I was made for.

Now I'm asking for an extra day off. I realize that this is a lot to ask for given the amazing amount of time I already get off a year. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for that time. It's just that this is something I feel very strongly I'm supposed to do. That's where the dilemma begins. There is no easy answer to this question, it's a lot to think about.

The stars aligned when I was born!

2011-09-06T21:30:00.002-04:00

OK well maybe not, but I was definitely born at a good time. Why you ask? Well, because my birthday just happens to fall every year at the same time as Philadelphia Restaurant week! The best week ever. The week where really expensive restaurants all open their doors to us poor folk and charge less for really good food. It's awesome!!!

It has become a tradition for Allison and I. This year we are going to The Farmers Cabinet! I am very excited. Allison has been wanting to try it out for some time.

(For all you people out there who are longing for a night out in the city, don't be too jealous. Allison and I are like two old ladies. We go out to dinner around 6 and are back at her house by 9ish in our sweatpants watching a ridiculous movie while sewing or organizing something in her house! We really know how to live it up!)

A Lyrical Flub! Opps!

2011-09-04T01:41:00.003-04:00

So tonight at church we did a new song...a great song. Great I Am

As usual when I started learning this song I typed up my own chord sheet so that the format would match my others sheets (I have OCD, what can I say!) I found the chords online and then cut and pasted them to a word document and formatted them to my liking. It looks beautiful and uniform now! When I was going through playing it I realized that some of the lyrics were not correct, they could not be correct, I hope to God they were incorrect! Two lines in the song had me puzzled.

1. "So heaven is real and death is alive."

Death is alive? How can death be alive...it's dead! That makes no sense!

2. "I want to see troubles living again."

What!?! Why would anyone want to see that? Put those troubles to bed and be done with them!

I immediately went to YouTube to listen to the song again. Hopefully my lip reading skills would help and I could figure out what was actually being sung. I have heard some crazy worship music lyrics but seriously, they're not even theologically correct.

After another listen I realized that the first mistaken line was actually "so heaven is real and death is a lie." Ahhhh, much better. I changed it on my sheet. But the second incorrect line was a bit more challenging. It seemed like he was singing "I want to see tribals living again." I wasn't really sure what that meant but there are tribes in the Bible so I figured it was just some biblical reference. I changed it, clicked print and went on my way.

When I got to church this afternoon we realized that the song wasn't in the slide index so I quickly typed in a new slide. Everything looked good, rehearsal was on it's way and everything was on schedule (or as close to on schedule as we ever are at BRV.) Jared was really excited about doing this new song. It's one of his favorites right now! After looking over my sheet he was able to identify the mystery lyric. It is actually supposed to say "I want to see dry bones living again." Thank God! That makes so much more sense!

The service started, people were singing, all was as it should be. We got to the last song, our new song, and we started singing. We got to the second verse and my heart sank. I never corrected the lyric on the slide. It still said tribals. Crap! It was a new song which meant that people were reading the lyrics closely. Kris was back at the sound booth. She noticed it too and immediately started laughing. Now I know that most people think church is serious and somber, but come on people. If somethings is funny, laugh at it. God wants us to have joy! I was up on stage, laughing. The looks on peoples faces...it was hysterical! Afterward several people commented on the new songs, everyone loved it, no one understood the line about tribals. I then had to admit my part in the lyric mix up. opps!

It just goes to show ya you can't believe everything you read on the Internet! If we did, tonight we would have been asking God to bring us more troubles and death, or even better...tribals!

Shoes...an observation.

2011-08-31T23:55:00.003-04:00

So recently I've been seeing a lot of stray shoes along the side of the road. This always makes me question "How did they get there?"

Is someone randomly driving down the street and their shoe just flies out the window? (Yes, usually it's just one stray shoe!) Was someone dangling there foot out the window of their car when their shoe suddenly fell off? Did they lose one foot in a tragic accident and the stress of it all cause them to violently throw their (now) footless shoe out the window while driving?

Seriously, how does this happen. I've seen at least 3 or 4 shoes in the road this past week. I myself know the stress of losing one shoe. I spent the last 3 months looking for a lost shoe, yup, just one. I had the right one, but could not locate the left one. At least I had an excuse. My left foot spent like a bazillion years in a walking cast. (OK so maybe it wasn't a bazillion but it was pretty close to half a year!) I was only able to wear one shoe and in the craziness of it all one shoe was misplaced. I'm happy to report that the missing shoe was found last week. But I do feel bad for all the other shoe wearers out there who will be forever looking for a lost shoe that will never be found because it was misplaced on the side of Rt. 1.

Poor lonely shoe! I feel sorry for you!

Bed Time

2011-08-30T22:51:00.003-04:00

When I was little I had a bed time. I hated it. Seriously who wants to be confined to the limits of a clock and when it tells you to sleep and wake up. As an adult I have taken full advantage of the fact that I don't have anyone telling me to go to bed. I pretty much go to sleep when I'm tired. That would seem normal, but I have sleep problems, so therefor I am really never tired, at least not until 2:30am or after. I actually changed the setting on this blog so that people can't see the time I post because it's usually so late!

The problem, I'm also tired all day. I can honestly say that over the past 2 years, I might only have 10 days I can remember where I wasn't tired! This is part of my issue, chronic fatigue and an internal clock that wants to function on the same schedule as a vampire! I've been doing some research about how to make this easier for me and one of the things I've read a lot about it sleep hygiene. That's basically... a bed time! Articles I've read recommend going to bed and waking up at the same time each day! Crap!

So here it goes. I'm going to try to give myself a bed time. With school starting back up and needing to wake up early, my goal is to try to be in bed between 10:30 and 11 on week nights. This will get me almost 7 hours a night during the week. Now like I said, this is a goal, not the law. Lets face it, it's 11:02 right now, I'm not in bed yet. But I am going to try this. Last year I spent the entire school year getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night during the week and then sleeping the entire weekend away recovering. I don't want to do that again!

I'm going to change my setting back to viewing the time on here. Hopefully that will help to keep me on track. I'll let you know how it goes. Hopefully this will help to reset my clock to feeling awake during the day and sleeping at night.

Good Night!

Wawa Guy

2011-08-30T01:30:00.002-04:00

I've been putting off posting this, mainly because I feel like I'm supposed to, and I have a hard time doing those things most of the time. Here it goes. (for the sake of full disclosure, this post may be long.)

At small group last week we were talking about crazy things God has done. Stories that will show His power and motivate us to do more. I had one. I didn't want to share it. But I had to. A few people there new this story and I could feel there eyes looking at me so I shared this...

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Several years ago friends and I were hanging out at my friend Patrick's house. Patrick has some awesome stories. Stories of crazy things he's seen God do. They are fascinating and he is good at telling them. My friend Mark and I had heard many of them before and were to the point where we would request some of them again and again. We were like kids sitting at the foot of a relative begging them to tell us crazy things about their past. I loved these nights. They were inspiring to me and gave me hope that I too could see crazy things happen.

I went home and that night laying in bed I prayed, God I want stories like that. I want you to use me like that. I want to be part of amazing things happening. About 3 minutes later I had a thought run through my head that was louder then a freight train say "Go to the Wawa in West Chester and tell the guy behind the counter that God loves him." I immediately got a picture in my head of the guy. (Rewind another few years. I had seen this guy on WCU's campus. Some of my friends new him from a former church and said hi to him once. God really knows what He's doing because for some strange reason I remember that 30 second encounter like it happened yesterday.)

Immediately I panicked. This couldn't be God. God you can't possible want me to do that. That's crazy! That's scary! That will make me look like a fool! Give me something easier! This was all too much for me. I went to bed. For the next several weeks I argued with God back and forth. This was nuts, I couldn't do it, blah, blah, blah!

Uncle!!!

Finally one night I gave in. Got in my car and drove out to West Chester (about 40 minutes from where I lived at the time.) I pull up to the Wawa. There he was standing out front, smoking a cigarette with some other guys. He had blue hair :) He actually looked like someone I would want to hang out with. Fun, not stuck up, a little rebellious. Way cooler then a lot of people I knew from church who quite frankly, were a bit boring and nerdy.

Holy Shit!!! I can't do this! I left. All the way home I kept reasoning with God. You don't need me to do this. My friends said they new him from church, he already knows You, he doesn't need this. By the time I got home I felt so guilty. Why was I such a coward (not the word I used but for the sake of the readers I will edit myself!) It was then that this began to gnaw at my soul. God had asked me to do something. Who was I to say no? For the next several weeks I drove to that Wawa 2 or 3 times a week. Every time I went, he was not there. I had failed, not just myself but God as well. What was wrong with me. I gave up and accepted that God changed his mind due to my lack of boldness and didn't want to use me.

About a month later I was visiting some friends in West Chester and needed gas on the way home. I naturally stopped at Wawa. On the way there it occurred to me that he might be there. Upon pulling into the parking lot I saw him at the counter. My heart started pounding, I felt nauseous, I was sweating. I can't do this! (I have since learned that when those symptoms occur it's because I am absolutely supposed to do it.)

I sat in the car. Got out and pumped my gas, and then got up enough courage to walk inside, but instead of going to pay, I made a bee line for the bathroom. I stood in the stall, praying. God, if you really want me to do this (I know, I'm a little slow) then there has to be no one in line behind me. Seriously!? Who reasons with God like that. Me that's who, I was desperate. I left the bathroom and went to pay and miraculously there was no one in line behind me. Crap!!! Come on people, don't you want to pay right now!?! Why do you all have to be so slow at picking out what kind of chips to eat!!!

It was now or never. I went to pay, gave my pump number, handed my cash and then with every once of boldness I could muster said "You know, God really loves you. I can just see it by looking at you." TIME FROZE!!! I did it!!! (Yes this is another one of those moments where I should be more concerned for the other person but kinda forgot about them due to my own excitement.) I finally looked at him. He looked frozen, money in hand, cash register open, just staring at me. He might deny it but it really looked like his eyes were welling up with tears.

What had I done? Did I hit a nerve? Maybe I was really supposed to do this. (I know, I'm pretty much a dumb ass when it comes to these things!) I then started to feel really awkward. I was that person, that freak, that crazy Christian that I hate. Or was I? He politely said "Thank You," but it was the kind of thank you that comes out in such a way that you know the person really, truly means it. That thank you hit my heart hard. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

I left. On my drive home I was overflowing. I'm not sure with what but it was a good feeling. I guess it was joy now that I'm thinking about it. It just felt like God was blessing me. I was on cloud 9! It was like all those months of fighting with God about this and chickening out didn't matter any more. I had done what I was supposed to do.

Now in most cases of others stories I've heard this would be the end, but I got lucky. A while later some friends of mine went on a missions trip to Mexico. When they got home they had a night at their church to come hear about it. I went. My Wawa guy was there! He had gone on the trip with his family! Are you freaking kidding me?!? I got to hear stories about what had happened there, what he was apart of. It was almost like God was saying "See, you should listen to me more often!" I'm not sure what my "Wawa guy" (as my friends refer to him) is up to know and I'm not sure just what kind of impact that night had on him. All I know is that he has a beautiful wife and son, write hysterical face book posts, and he was part of one of the biggest life changing moments of my life.

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Later it occurred to me that almost all of Patrick's crazy God stories took place in bars...maybe this type of thing is a little easier when you have a few drinks in you!!!

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!!!

2011-08-29T00:27:00.004-04:00

More like Earthquakes, Tornado's and Hurricanes!!!

What a week we've had here. So many natural disasters, so little time! Let me take you through a photo journey of the past 48 hours!

Preparing for Hurricane Irene I went grocery shopping. My mom mentioned I should get some water just in case. Apparently other people heard the same thing!

In order to avoid loosing my trash cans or having them crash into my car or house (or someone else's) I had to bring them into the house. This killed me. How gross having your outdoor trash can near where you prepare food! It's disgusting!!! (The one good thing is that my trash can is so enormously large that I could fit the recycle can inside of it.)

I finally got too scared and Mortimer and I went to my parents house. With the amount of Tornado warning there were combined with the large amount of huge trees behind their house, we went to the basement and slept there. A few years ago my parents basement was a nice room full of furniture to entertain with, now it has become a storage room for extra furniture that has no home. Meaning our only options for sitting were an old chair and a desk chair, but you could have your choice and the 4 end tables and 1 coffee table. Other then that it was the floor.

Driving home the next day I could check out the damage. Lots of roads were closed making my normal 1o minute drive from my parents to my house a 40 minute drive.

The local pool runs right next to a creek which flooded a lot.

The pool is now closed for the rest of the season!

This picture doesn't do it justice but the local water treatment plant had so much water in its holding pond that is was pouring over the edge and the road around it was closed.

Around the corner from my house a huge tree fell on an apartment building.

Luckily I got home and my house was fine. No water, no damage, no tree limbs in the backyard! It was the best outcome I could have hoped for.

Un-loved letters

2011-08-27T02:57:00.003-04:00

Tonight, after a wonderful evening at BRV, Dave & I hunkered down in his studio with some beers and guitars to work on our set list for tomorrow mornings worship (which I guess is technically today now!) We had fun (as we always do) and goofed off for part of this time.

Upon flipping through the book of music (while also discussing the upcoming organization of the the newly renovated stage wing room) it was brought up that there are no worship songs that start with the letters Z or Q. I commented that if we were to write songs beginning with those letters that we would become famous, not because we are gifted song writers or because the songs would be good, but because everyone would notice that there is finally a song behind that letter tab in their book!

And that is when Dave started singing...

His first song, titled "Quit Smoking" (a country tune)

"Quite Smoking...because God wants you to, Worship Jesus...because God wants you to, mow your lawn...because God wants you too..." You can imagine how the rest of the song went!

The Second song, titled "Zebra" (an 80's tune)

"Zebra's, they're a part of God's creation. Elephants are also a part of God's creation" and so on and so on...

I'm realizing now that we forgot about the letter X which also has no songs behind it.

I bet that one would be pretty easy since there could be so many metaphors between how God sees us, and an x-ray machine!

Performers

2011-08-24T23:14:00.002-04:00

Performers amaze me!

I know what you're thinking..."you're a musician, wouldn't that make you some kind of performer?"

Technically yes. But let me explain. My musical upbringing and training was classical. Classical performing is very specific. There are no huge technical/electrical/mechanical issues that can arise. It's you and your instrument. Maybe a microphone. The audience is specifically there to hear you and are therefor respectful of what is happening. In some classical venues I could have heard a pin drop the audience was so quiet.

Fast forward to the kind of music I listen to. It's not classical. Therefor the performers amaze me. Recently I've seen some shows that put the performers through all kinds of situations. A noisy crowd, the power going out, the roof leaking onto the stage (almost right on top of the singer and his keyboard!) batteries dying in acoustic guitars, wireless guitar hookups malfunctioning, drunk audience members...Seriously how do they put up with all of this without missing a beat and keeping their audience captivated. Yet they all manage to with ease! As crazy as all of this sounds it doesn't even compare to the best on stage flop/recovery I've ever seen!

A neighborhood school where I grew up puts on rally amazing musicals. I went to see one awhile back. West Side Story. It was really good. There's a great scene at the end (sorry if this spoils it for you but if you haven't seen it yet then you're a little behind anyway.) There a fight that breaks out between 2 guys while a girl stands by. There is a scuffle and in the end one of the guys gets shot and the girl goes running and falls over him crying. It's a great scene. Especially when I saw it. Apparently during the on stage scuffle one of the fake swings accidentally hit the girl in the face...breaking her nose...on stage! Luckily just a few moments later the guy gets shot. So this quick thinking actress falls onto the guy (looking distraught over the fact he got shot.) She was down there for a bit longer then seemed necessary. Apparently she was waiting for her nose to stop bleeding. Yep, it was bleeding. Luckily it stopped quickly and she finished the show (it was almost the end.) And it all looked like it was supposed to be that way because the blood on his shirt just looked like a gun shot wound. It looked so real, like it was supposed to happen that way! In fact the only reason I new it wasn't supposed to happen that way was because the friend I saw it with had seen it already and commented "where did that blood come from? That didn't happen last time!?!"

After the show she went to the ER. Now that's one heck of a dedicated performer!!!

Now I know I'm not skinny, but...

2011-08-23T23:02:00.002-04:00

Today was interesting. I had an experience.

Let me start by saying that I lived my entire life in a house with uneven floors. Upon walking through the dining room the china cabinet would always shake. Now in my current house when walking through the living room the TV cabinet doors shake. I'm used to this.

OK fast forward to today.

I was walking down the main hall at work and upon walking next to the trophy case the glass doors shook a bit. Now here's where my brain goes crazy. It has become apparent to me that I can think thoughts 1,000 x's faster then I could ever speak them. I begin thinking.

(My thoughts over the next 30 seconds go as follows.)

I don't remember those doors rattling before. Was I walking differently. Am I walking heavier then I used to. Did I gain weight over the summer. I continue walking. The floor is rattling as well. What is going on? Why is my walking causing this!?! This can't be possible! I'm not walking that differently. I notice the carpet is wet. Is the wetness somehow causing the floor to rattle more. I stop walking. The I look up and realize that the lights and walls are shaking too! Seriously! Is this a joke! Am I going crazy!?! I actually begin to panic! Somethings going on! I'm not sure if it's me or reality but I don't think I should be in this hallway anymore. I turn around to walk out when office doors start opening. People starting coming out looking confused, wondering if anyone else just had the same experience they did.

Phew! I thought it was me. At this point I actually say that out loud. Upon which everyone starts laughing.

This will probably be the butt of many jokes for years to come! Everyone seemed to think it was so hysterical that I could even possibly think that my walking caused an entire building to shake.

I've known that I am not normal for some time now, but I think some more people at work were brought into the reality today!

Human Barometer

2011-08-23T01:34:00.002-04:00

Recently I've made several comments about being a human barometer. Yesterday I had someone ask me what I mean by that. Here is my explanation.

My body is not the greatest. I've often joked that I am 30 years old with the aches and pains of an 80 year old! Over the course of my life I have had injuries that have left large amounts of scar tissue throughout my body. This combined with the high amounts of inflammation I have cause me to have pain when the weather changes.

When the weather is nice (meaning the sun is shining, the temperature is normal for that time of year and the sky is not cloudy) the barometric pressure is usually pretty close to 30. On days when the weather is a little drab/crappy the pressure can drop to around 99.75 and when it's really bad like a big storm or front coming in it can go as low as 99.5.

I can pretty much identify when the barometer gets below 99.8. On those days I start to feel pain.

-It begins in my feet (Mainly because that is my most recent injury.) My feet will ache, almost as if I've spent an entire day standing in bad shoes, only I haven't. Every step is painful.

-Then my shoulders will ache, like I've been lifting my arms up and down doing jumping jacks for hours. They will burn like they have been overused.

-My low back will also start to ache. At first it will be a dull ache but will get worse as the pressure gets lower.

-My neck also gets tight. After a few hours of this it will turn into a tension headache which can only be helped by sleep, or lying on a special wedge I have to relax the muscles.

-If I'm doing an activity that uses my arms a lot on these days (like playing guitar) my wrists and forearms will hurt as well.

-When it is really bad my hips will hurt as well.

My "human barometer" days can vary from experiencing one thing on that list to a combination of things to all of those things. It's not fun but I am unfortunately used to it. Recently we have been experiencing bad weather. For the past week we have had several thunderstorms that were worse than I've seen in years! The storms were cool! The effect they had on my body were not! My feet are still recovering.

Today was beautiful, the weather was wonderful, and the pressure was around 99.87.

I was a happy girl today!

Late Night Conversations

2011-08-22T03:49:00.002-04:00

Why is it that the best conversations seem to start after 10:00 PM?

At least in my life that has always been the case. It's almost as if the fatigue we feel causes us to let down our normally placed guards and just say whats really on our minds. My friend Bob and I usually don't start talking about serious things until midnight or after and these conversations go into the wee hours of the morning. I love them! They are fun, exciting, thought provoking, and help me to think about things in a better way.

Tonight while hanging out with some other friends I got into one of those conversations. While standing in the driveway of said friends home, we went through a huge list of topics discussing the good and bad of all sorts of things. It was great! So great we didn't even realize it was almost 2:00 AM!

To me the best kind of conversations are the ones that go on and on and at some point someone just has to say stop or they will keep going. The best part is that these kinds of conversations only work well with good friends. The kind that really care what you have to say and will still love you no matter what comes out of your mouth (and vice versa.)

I have great friends and I love talking with them!

For the Kids...

2011-08-21T00:58:00.003-04:00

It's that time of year again.

Children are buzzing with excitement about going back to school, purchasing school supplies, buying a new book bag, and finding out who has what teacher! I remember this being a very exciting time.

Now I'm on the teacher side of this and I admit that my excitement level is not as high as the kids. I don't really want to go back, summer is so relaxing! The one thing that does motivate me a bit to get started is setting up my classroom. I love organizing, and this is the perfect time of year to organize. All throughout the last school year things have gotten switched around, moved, misplaced and thrown about. Now is this time to get things back in order! Lets face it, if it's not organized by the time the kids show up, it never will be!!!

Like the students there are some things that I needed to buy for this year so this weekend I did my "back to school" shopping. This is where the problem begins. I'm an impulse buyer. Stores are full of things I never new I had to have. Today I went to Jo Ann fabrics for 2 things I needed and bought 7 other things. I also went to Staples and left with 6 more things then were on my original list. The problem is I can always justify this in my head....

It's for the kids!

Everywhere I go I see things that would either make them happy, make their lives easier, or be just plain old fun! Their lives are hard enough and I look at my job as not only teaching them but making their lives better, easier and full of more joy than before. How can I turn down these purchases?

In writing that sounds very nice, but today I justified buying fake leaves, magnets, hooks and storage containers. Lets face it, these are all things that will make MY life easier and more joyful. The kids could care less if all their things are hung with matching magnets or stored in neatly organized containers.

I mean come on Marti, they're blind, they can't see it anyway!!!

Addiction

2011-08-20T13:12:00.002-04:00

I am addicted to iced tea...seriously addicted. At one point in my life I drank it morning noon and night, almost a gallon a day. I love it. It's not just the caffeine, it's the taste. I love it!!! My iced tea of choice is the Swiss Farms brand with Wawa coming in a close second.

Last December I had a horrific experience with Kidney Stones. I'll spare you most of the details but lets just say the excruciating pain, two ER visits, a 4 day hospital stay with surgery at the end and a 3 week recovery was brutal. I was told that my experience was much worst than most other kidney stone sufferers. After a battery of tests I was told that my stones were being produced by Oxalate, which is a substance found in...tea leaves!

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! It can't be possible!!! My #1 ingested beverage has caused this hell!!! What am I going to do. My Dr. told me that I needed to stop drinking iced tea. He quickly realized (by the look on my face) that this was not going to go over well. In the end he told me to reduce the amount I drink significantly. I'll admit that it was a little easier to swallow (no pun intended) knowing that I could still have some each day, just not 6 glasses.

8 months later and my confession to you is that I have not done so well in the weening off process. How is this going to be possible!?! I love it! It would seem that quitting anything could be easier than this. I crave the taste. I have to have it!

The past few days I haven't been feeling so well, run down, tired, and I've had some pain in my back. Instantly fear starts welling up inside me. Could this be happening again? Is this the beginning of a month of torture? Just the thought that it could be another stone has me feeling sick! It's then that I start bargaining with God. If this isn't what I think it is I promise I'll never drink iced tea again! How ridiculous is that. I know that God is not one to be bargained with and on top of that He's gracious enough that he could heal me no matter what I do in return.

Today I'm feeling ok. Energy level is a bit higher, my back still feels weird but the pain is on both sides now meaning that it would not be a stone. It's probably just another case of being a human barometer which is not surprising due to the large amount of extreme weather we've been having this week.

The sad part, I type this as I drink a large glass of...iced tea! What is wrong with me, why is this so hard to give up! I think I need a 12 step program!!!

The One With the Blackout

2011-08-18T23:24:00.005-04:00

(I apologize for any mistakes within this post which is being written via my phone)

The power is out, it has been for several hours now and PECO is expecting it to be out for several more. I'm OK with this. I love blackouts!!!

There was a Friends episode once where the power went out. I loved this episode, it was one of my favorites. I lOve those experiences where something happens that stops the norm and causes people to slow down and find fun in the unusual. Tonight has been exciting for me. I can feel the buzz around me neighborhood. People wondering how long this will last. People drawn outside who would normally never step foot outdoor to talk to a neighbor. All around me is pitch black, the only light that can be seen is coming from the Comcast building. That along with the low buzz of their generators. Let's face it, the cable company can never be without power! They are hard at work right now!

I find the fact that they have power amusing. The Comcast building is sort of like the Mecca of my neighbor. Since moving here over a year ago I've had several people ask me where I now live. I give them the name of the town, neighborhood and street and they all respond saying "I don't know where that is.". But follow it up with "I'm one block away from the Comcast building" and everyone instantly can picture my street!

Tonigt was quiet. No TV, know radio, know loud neighbors music. Just me. I folded laundry, played guitar for a bit, read a book and listened to the crickets chirp. It was fun.

When I was in middle school a tornado went trough my hometown and we were without power for over 4 days. My family saw this as an adventure. I have a lot of fond memories of that time. I've also never been one to be scared of storms. I kind of like them, the bigger the better. When I was younger my dad and I used to love sitting on the porch during storms listenging to the rain and watching the clouds. I remembe the first time i was ever allowed to stay home without my parents and was put in harge of my sister and i, a storm came and a tree fell on our house. I was told i handled this situation like a champ!

Tonight was no different. I was driving home right about when the storm started. I purposefully took the long way, past the creek to see if it flooded, through the woods to see if any trees had fallen (to grandmothers house we go?). I'm not sure why bu I kind of enjoy the drama of a big storm. Maybe it's because my dad is an EMT and tends to go towards disasters, not away. We would always stop to watch a good fire, accident or tree through a house. There have been several times throughout m life that my dad has heard a call come through his radio about something that happened and he looks at me with a smile on his face and says "wanna go see?". Does this make me weird? Strange? A little twisted? Maybe. I'm not even sure what it is I like about it but I do.

Tonight was fun, some down branches, some flooding, and a power outage...what more could my twisted little heart ask for?

Mr. Eveready

2011-08-17T02:26:00.002-04:00

Tonight is a beautiful night! The windows are open, the crickets are chirping and there's a nice breeze coming in from the window. It seems peaceful. Then I hear something else, a lot monotonous sound. I know it's not the sump pump (I know for sure because it broke today, getting fixed tomorrow.) It must be...

Mr. Eveready!

Who is Mr. Eveready you ask? He is my neighbor, we share a common wall in my row home and the wall is thin, very thin, I'm sure it does not meet the code requirements for thickness and soundproofing. He likes music, of the loud screaming variety with...you guessed it...low monotonous bass lines!

Mr. Everyeady has been a source of conversation for me since I moved here over a year ago. When I was first moving in, coming to the house on weekends and nights to paint and get things ready for moving day I had a situation with the smoke detector one night. It kept beeping. I had not batteries to replace it with. I saw my new neighbor outside, introduced myself, apologized in case he could here the repetitive beeping and I said I'd be coming back with a battery tomorrow. He offered to go out and buy me a battery. I declined. I was a little freaked out by this offer. I know most people would think this was really nice but as a single woman moving into a new home it seemed a bit forward of him and I was instantly uncomfortable. I went about my evening, went home and came back the next day. Upon arrival I came up to my door to find that two 9 volt Eveready batteries had been taped to my door...and thus was the birth of...Mr. Eveready.

He is a kind, caring next door neighbor, who happens to annoy me a lot of the time. He is loud, he listens to loud music, he talks on the phone loudly, and runs up and down the stairs with a force in his feet that sounds like an elephant is going to come crashing through the wall. He also has a fantastic habit of jumping from about the 5th step from the bottom onto the landing causing the house to shake and scaring Mortimer.

The bathroom seems to have the thinnest wall in the entire house. I think that that is just about the worst room to be able to hear your neighbor in. I have herd him use the bathroom, get sick in the bathroom and then there was that awesomely awkward moment where he and a lady companion were in the shower. Each time I tip toe out hoping that he doesn't hear me and then in return have the knowledge that I have heard him.

I know that this is just sometimes what comes with homes being connected. In a way I think it's good for me. I tend to want to live in a secluded area that is far way from all people. It forces me to acknowledge that I'm not alone in the world and that others are around to witness my life. It also helps to point out all of my insecurities with being friendly to neighbors and people I wouldn't otherwise be friends with. But for tonight, I would just really like Mr. Eveready to turn the volume down!!!

The Best Movie I've Ever Seen...

2011-08-16T00:52:00.002-04:00

Seriously!?!

I wouldn't even know how to narrow this down to 1.

But I can tell you about my all time favorite scene from a movie.

The scene comes from the movie Witness (1985) staring Harrison Ford.

The movie in and of itself is nothing epic, there are no special effects, it was not #1 in the box office and it did not win best picture, but this one scene makes it worth watching.

The movie takes place in rural Pennsylvania on an Amish farm. At one point in the movie one of the farmers is in trouble. The 'danger' kind of trouble. Anyone else in the world would call 911 in this type of situation, but they are Amish, no phones. At this point the grandfather signals to his grandson to ring a large bell mounted to the side of the house. The boys rings the bell about 5 times and what happens next takes my breath away every time I see it. The camera pans out and you see farmers from all of the nearby farms drop whatever farm tool they are holding and begin to run. The bell ringing at this particular time in the day signaled the need for help and these neighbors did not hesitate in answering the call. There is something so beautiful about this scene. A true depiction of community and unity among these people brings tears to my eyes whenever I see it.

At times I have watched this and thought "I wish I lived in a community like this," but then it occurred to me...I do!!! My community is my friends and family, and let me tell you they are some of the best!!! I have had moments in my life when I needed them immediately and they came running. Whether the need was emotional, physical, spiritual, or all of thee above, they have been there and I am confident they will continue to be there in the future.

Today was one of those days. I was a slug today. I slept in way too late and then continued to lie in bed after I was awake for much longer. I finally drug myself out of bed, went downstairs and then sat on the couch for what seemed like forever. I know that some days this sounds great, but not today. It was putting me in a funk. The more I sat, alone, the more down I felt. I needed someone. I drug myself out of the house to a place where a friend was working. Upon my arrival I walked up to him and simply said "I need human contact." He smiled, he new exactly what I needed. I sat down and started talking, we talked for the next few hours, about anything and everything. Then I went over to his home for dinner, spent time with his wife (A fantastic cook and just an awesome person in general) and helped put the kids to bed. It was like therapy. I have plans tomorrow to ensure this does not happen again.

These are the ways people run to my rescue. My friends know me. A simple sentence about needing human contact is translated to them as a warning bell that I need something and they answer to that call. They respond with a smile, good conversation, food and love. It's people like these that you want around you.

Martha

2011-08-15T02:14:00.007-04:00

Martha is my legal birth name but I've have been called Marti by everyone since that same day I was born. For the longest time I hated the name Martha. It seemed old fashioned, outdated, and I did not feel that it describe me at all. Ironically enough when you look at Mary and Martha in the Bible I clearly show the characteristics of Martha in everything I do!

About 10 years ago my dear friend Dan found out my real name was Martha. He loves this name and (after a conversation about it) has been calling me Martha ever since. This is one of my closest friends and in his calling me Martha I really began to feel as if the beauty that he saw in this name was a reflection on me, who I am, and who God has created me to be. Whenever he called me by it, it felt as though it was such a heartfelt term of endearment. Like a bond that far surpasses friendship. To this day it brings joy to my heart when he and his family use my name, especially when his children refer to me as "Marfa!"

Over the past few years others (friends of Dan's and mine) have started referring to me as Martha. I have to be honest in saying that it does not feel the same. Where as Dan's 'Martha' comes from a place of love for me and a point of beauty in my life, it often feels that others refer to me by this name simply as the "in thing" or that they are my close friends and therefor think it's almost a right of passage to call me this. It's even gone as far as these people telling others not to call me this because they don't know me well enough! It has nothing to do with how well you know me. It's more about a special bond that has been created between 2 people by going through things together. Almost as if letting someone call me Martha is letting them into an even deeper more venerable part of me. Therefor it doesn't always feel comfortable when people outside of a select group of probably only 4 people calls me this. (interestingly enough these few people were the ones who actually asked me about it before calling me Martha. Almost as if they new it was a deeper place for me that they did not want to enter without permission.) Don't get me wrong, I love all of my friends which is why I let it go. I know they are just trying to love me back.

Today someone whom I have know for over 12 years referred to me as Martha for the first time. In his doing so, those 'term of endearment' feelings came flooding into my heart. It was as if someone else discovered who I am and the greatness that I have to offer this world. My heart was overflowing. I could not let it go unacknowledged. The small yet meaningful conversation (via text message) went like this.

Him: Thanks Martha, I appreciate it a lot.

Me: :) You called me Martha :)

Him: Yep, I think I might from now on

Me: Yup :)

This little conversation was a great ending to a great weekend!

Flesh and Bone

2011-08-15T01:49:00.005-04:00

Last night I went to one of my favorite intimate venues to see Ethan Pierce perform!

It was amazing. His newest song which he performed last night had me in tears. It was so raw, stripped open, and honest that I could not hold back my emotions. It is not often that a song speaks so honestly about the reality of who we are and what needs to happen to get past ourselves. I was already amped up from the amazing night of worship I had before, but then this put me over the edge into that place where truth is so real and in your face that it leaves you ripped open and numb. It has been on my heart all day and I wanted to share it with you.

Flesh and Bone

Oh Lord, I fear surrender

I fear Your splendor King

Oh God, I'm scared of our face

So afraid of Your grace on me

Oh and I just want to be free

Oh Lord I know Your glory

Reaches so far beyond me

And I am so unholy

I do not even deserve to see

All that Your precious glory can be

I am flesh and bone

It seems like nothing more while I am on this earth

I am flesh and I am bone

Destined to become a part of the dirt

Oh God is this all I'm worth,

A numbered days and a burial scene?

Oh God do I have a spirit?

Do I even have a soul worth saving?

If it's so can You please save me?

And me with all these questions

All alone in venerability

It was there I felt Your presence

Like a foreign weight upon me

It was then that I became free

I am flesh and bone in my own eyes

And now I see there is so much more

If my flesh and bone be my demise

Strip it off so I am only soul

Only Yours

I am letting go, this is surrender

I am not my own, only Yours

I am not simply flesh and bone

There is a fire in my soul, in my soul

I am not my own, this is surrender

Music...it's so much better live!

2011-08-14T00:26:00.004-04:00

Tonight was another music night!

Went to Burlap and Bean to see the wonderful Ethan Pierce play. A totally cool kid I've gotten to know over the past year. Having only ever heard him play in church I was unaware of the treat I was in for. His music is powerful, captivating, and drew emotions out of me that I didn't know were there! Well done my friend!

A guy by the name of Jonny Rodgers opened up for him. All I can say is that I was blown away. This man played a bunch of wine glasses like they were a piano. It was like nothing I've ever seen before!!! I don't think anyone in attendance would disagree with me. He was a totally unexpected bonus to the evening. If you get a chance to see him you should. Even if you're not into that kind of music, the experience alone is so awesome!!! (on a side note, he plays a lot of fund raisers for Love 146 which made him even higher on my respect list!)

Burlap & Bean was sold out tonight! Can I just say that I love this venue!!! (and I'm not just saying that because my friends own it.) It's an intimate, welcoming venue (BYOB!) with amazing caffinated beverages! Seeing musicians here is a very personal experience that can't be compared to other larger venues (they seat about 75.) My friend Kris and I are determined to convince the fantastic Adam Crossley to perform here!

It was a fantastic night.

Man I love live music!!!

Moths

2011-08-13T01:11:00.007-04:00

They are nothing but pure evil!!!

I Hate them!!!

Actually...I'm terrified of them.

I have a phobia of moths, no matter what kind (yes Luna moths are evil too!) and I'm also not that fond of butterflies. I know this sounds strange. Butterflies? Seriously who doesn't like butterflies? Me! They are not as bad as moths, but lets face it, they are really just a prettier version. (I'm sure some bug-ologist would argue with that last statement...Oh Well!)

Over the years I've had many people try to talk me down off of this ledge explaining that they are harmless, can not hurt me and are actually fascinating creatures. Seriously people! Do you not know what a phobia is!?! It is an irrational fear, which means no amount of rationale will convince me otherwise!

The other night there was a moth in my house. I freaked. At first I thought it was a spider on the wall. (I know what you're thinking, most people would be afraid of the spider, but nope, not me, I hate the moth!) I got up to get it and it started flying. Holy Crap!!! What am I going to do!?! I'm by myself here, so I can't frantically scream for someone to come get it!!! (although I did text a friend screaming in capital letters that there was a 'MOTH IN THE HOUSE!') It's up to me! How am I going to do this!?! I grab a near by IKEA catalog, I must kill the moth (I really should invest in a fly swatter.) I inch closer and closer to the spot on the wall where the enemy has landed. My heart is pounding and I feel like I could vomit! I attack, slamming the catalog on the wall and hoping it does not escape and fly into my face (The worst possible thing about moths, they fly in your face!!!) I frantically jump away from the wall and begin searching, it went something like this.

-Where is it!?!

-Frantically look on the floor

-Don't see it

-Holy crap it must be in my hair!

-Frantically run hands through my hair

-Don't feel it

-It must be on my clothes!

-Frantically look over my clothes!!!

-Don't feel it.

-Frantically run hands all over clothes, it must be there

-Nope, still don't feel it

-Remove clothes, shake them out

-Inspect floor where moth most definitely has fallen out of clothing

-Nope, not there.

-I new it, it is in my hair!

-Frantically run hands through hair again.

-Still not there!

This cycle continued for the next ten minutes. Even later while sitting on my couch I still kept feeling my hair! I was so grossed out for almost the entire next hour. What is wrong with me? I acknowledge that this is really weird. I don't understand it either. All I know is that...

I HATE MOTHS!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just in case you were wondering, the moth was never found. I believe I successfully ended it's life or that the wrath of my catalog swinging was so intense that it left the premises!

Addendum

2011-08-11T23:56:00.003-04:00

So a bit ago I posted this about awesomely unique names. I have to add more!!!

I forgot to mention a friends of mines son named Finnegan. Rad name!

Then today I saw a totally awesome name!

Are you ready!?!

...Lyric!

How fantastic is that!!!

This has opened up a completely new category to me of musical names. Oh how the world is my oyster in this category!!! My head is going to burst I'm so excited with this one!!!

I think in harmonies...

2011-08-10T22:32:00.004-04:00

When working with some fellow worship leaders on bringing up some new singers a name was brought up and my friend commented "She's just like you Marti, she thinks in harmonies."

It's so true, I think in harmonies. When hearing a song, I will automatically go to the harmony. I sing along with most songs using harmony, I always want it to be there and I always think it sounds awesome! When I think of the word harmony i can't help but notice how much my love for harmony in music parallels in my life.

Dictionary.com defines harmony as:

the simultaneous combination of tones, especially when blended into chords pleasing to the ear; chordal structure, as distinguished from melody and rhythm.

This is so true about my life as well. Melodies are beautiful, but without the combination, dissonance and rich tones of harmony the song would sound very plain and not quite as beautiful. Harmonies are used to enhance something. Like me. I am not the norm. I do not go about things like most people. My life is like a harmony. The way I do things, the way I think and work through things, and the way I interact with others is different. But I feel like that difference is a harmony. A compliment to the way the rest of the world works in a way that makes it more beautiful. If everyone did things the same way this world would be very plain, it's the "harmonies" who think and do things outside of the box that make this word more interesting.

I'm OK with being different, it's my different-ness that makes this world better. It allows people to see a bigger, richer way to life then the "same old, same old." Sometimes there may be dissonance, which at first may not sound so wonderful. But dissonance in itself can be amazingly beautiful, and the resolution after, which brings out it's true beauty shows the need for it in the first place!

A Career 1st

2011-08-09T23:51:00.002-04:00

Today I escorted a student...to the ER.

Yes it finally happened.

Working with special needs children this was bound to happen at some point, I just didn't expect it to happen with one of my favorites.

I love my students, sometimes I think I love them like they are my own children. I share stories about them with my friends and family, I gush over them, I love them! I admit I have some favorites. I can't help it. I often wonder if all teachers feel this way or if I'm abnormal in my love for them.

I've been working the last 3 weeks this summer at the schools camp program. I have different students then the ones I have during the school year which has been a nice change of pace but I miss my little kiddos. One imparticular. I love the crazy kids. The more nuts they are the more I love them. My most favorite kid is awesome. She's energetic, funny, active, and a dare devil. She will climb anything, you can't turn your back for a second!

Today when I heard that she got hurt my heart sank. I wanted to run to make sure she was OK. I instantly felt like no one could care for her as much as I could. I was worried, worried that she was not understanding what was happening or the the people around her weren't communicating in a way that she could understand. I'm sure that was not the case but I couldn't help myself. I managed to find a way to go see her. She was pathetic looking. Her normally energetic self was laying snuggled into the nurse, half asleep, with tears still down her face and dried blood around her mouth. She has fallen during one of her climbing adventures and her tooth went through her lip. Stitches were in her future! :(

The staff were discussing who would go with her to the hospital. Normally the teacher would go with them but her camp teacher was dealing with a personal family issue and our boss was pregnant so she did not want to go into a hospital (exposure to unnecessary germs) unless she had to. I gladly volunteered.

The interesting part is that I actually like hospitals. I know this is weird but I do. I was exposed to hospitals often as a child so I never developed that fear that they are a bad place. To me they are a place of healing where people walk in sick and leave healthy or are escorted into death with grace and dignity. Those are two beautiful things. Medical things also fascinate me. I'm not queasy around blood and I really love watching medical shows. It didn't bother me in the least to be going to a hospital.

Her mother was meeting us there so I didn't stay with her once we arrived but it made me feel good to be able to do this. I love my little "stinkers" and I would do anything for them. I'm just glad that by the time I left her that she was acting more like her normal self again. I'm sure this won't be the last of emergencies with students and I'm glad she was OK.

It's days like this that I'm reminded why I do what I do. When you take away all the drama and politics of teaching and strip it down to just my students, I love it.

They are the reason I do what I do!

Joy

2011-08-08T01:17:00.007-04:00

Tonight has been nothing but true joy!

It was completely unexpected!

Went to a friends house to watch a movie.
Had a serious conversation that was great.
Decided to watch a bit of the movie with low expectations, thought we watch about 20 minutes, then probably turn it off and go home (since our movie watching was delayed due to conversation.)
Watched Arthur (It was surprisingly unexpected! Funny! Watched the entire thing!)
Watched hysterically funny home videos (#2, #3, #4) of Abby's kids being crazy! (don't remember the last time I laughed that hard, my face and my stomach hurt, kept laughing on the way home.)
Drove home listening to this song on repeat!

Seriously what could make a better night!?!

(this post can't even do it justice!)

(On a side note, that Adam Crossley song is like a drug. No matter what kind of mood I'm in it makes me happy. It's one of the few songs that when listening to I actually feel like moving...some might even call it dancing! Brings a smile on my face every time.)

Clothes

2011-08-06T22:07:00.005-04:00

I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl! Always have been.

I think this should be the uniform for life.

I had to dress up today. :( I am not a fan of dressing up. I hate it. (I think this is mostly due to a poor self image issue but that's another post for another time.) But today's dress up issue came with a whole new level of difficulty...the guitar.

Friends of mine were married today and I played at their wedding. Although I've played at 100's of weddings (that's not an exaggeration, from 1998-2001 I played harp on the weekends, mostly weddings) this was only my second wedding playing guitar. The last one was in the winter and I had a cast on my foot so pants were totally acceptable, almost necessary, but today I had to wear a dress. I've never played guitar in a dress.

There a lot to think about here:

-how does the dress look

-am I comfortable

-is it too low cut

-will the guitar strap pull it in a weird way

-can I move my arms in it (some dresses are more restrictive then they look!)

-I'm going to sweat when I play (always happens!) will it show in this dress

-how short can the skirt be and still allow me to plug in and set up pedals

-Will it photograph well (lots of picture taking at weddings)

Then came a question that I never thought I'd think about...

Does this dress match my guitar?

Yup, I actually thought that. My guitar is beautiful, I love it, but it's very feminine and a little folk looking. An edgy dress would just look silly with it. Almost like it portrays an image and my clothes need to follow. This is a weird thought because when picking my jeans and t-shirt for the day this thought never crosses my mind, but the dress situation had my mind spinning. In the end I picked the more feminine dress over the sleek dress. I was happy with my choice.

The irony is that I have made fun of a friend of mine for this so many times. He often chooses his guitars to match his shirt. Yes, his is a bit opposite, when you have guitars the number well into the double digits you can dress first and choose the guitar second. I on the other hand don't have that option. (Technically I have 4 guitars, but only 2 are actually worthy of playing, and currently only one is working.)

Needless to say it was an interesting process.

Isn't she beautiful!?!

Sara J. and Sarah M.

2011-08-04T22:48:00.005-04:00

First day of school was always an awkward one for me. The teacher would take roll, and call out...Martha! I was mortified, I hated my name, no one even called me that, the kids would snicker, and I would correct the teacher to please call me Marti. (Then I'd also have to clarify that it was spelled with an "i" not a "y.") Over the years I have come to love both of my names and now have some people who refer to me solely as Martha. It has almost become a term of endearment (when used by a few select people. I still prefer Marti by most) I feel worse for the Sara's of this world. Growing up I had 2 of them in my class so they were simply referred to by their first name and last initial. To me that would be horrible.

After my post last night about my favorite baby friends I got to thinking about names. My friends are some of the best namers I've ever known. I love unique names. One of the things I like about my name now is that I've never met anyone (at least under the age of 80) with my name and I've never met another female with my nick name. It's unique, just like me, and I like that. When (not if) I have children I want them to have unique names. They may hate me for it as children but will appreciate it later in life. I'm always taking note of unique names.

Here are some of the good ones I've come across!

Rowan & Genevive (the girls)
Remy & Andrew (OK so Andrew's not that unique but if you new his parents it's very unique for them)
Skye (sister of the previously mentioned boys)
Aquinnah (Michael J Fox's daughter, one of my absolute favorite names!)
Addison
Enoch (and his brother Orion)
Jakin
Greyson
One of the blogs I follow is written by a mother with 3 awesomely named children Saylor, Raimy, and Renn.
One of my favorite bands consists of Reeve and his brother Zane.
Xander and Dwell (another set of twins!)
Lightning (father of the previously mentioned twins)
My sister is Jodi (not as unique as some but higher up on the list than most)

The list goes on and on, these are just a few I could think of right now. Needless to say I love unique names!

...with my luck I'll fall in love and marry a man who loves names like Joe, Sue, and Bob!

Twins don't run in my family... they run in my friends!

2011-08-03T21:26:00.007-04:00

It's true, I know a lot of twins. I have 5 friends who have twins and I am good friends with another set of twins. They follow my family. My mom and sister are the same way :)

I love twins!

Within the past few years I have been blessed beyond belief with the privilege of helping to care for 2 sets of twins after they were born.

Easily some of the best times of my life thus far!

Meet the girls!

Rowan and Genevieve

(Children #1 and 2 of the amazing Emily!)

Meet the Boys!

Remy and Andrew

(surprise children #4 and 5 of the awesome Abby!)

Don't ask me who is who in each picture because I have no idea!

Getting the opportunity the help care for these newborns was an experience like no other. I was able to bless two wonderful, yet exhausted moms, I was given an overabundance of cuddle time with newborns (simply the best therapy there is!) and learned more about caring for babies (and nursing) then I thought possible! I can honestly say that every second I spent with them was full of joy!

The girls are 4 now and they are some of the most lovable, hugable, hysterical kids I've ever met!

Seriously they have me laughing every time I see them. Emily shared a story with me that I think is so funny I have to share it with you.

These girls play the most fantastic games. I have allergies, (a lot of them) and the girls know this. There was one day where a time-out was given because they kept finding latex balloons (my kryptonite!) in the house and bringing them to me. I explained several times to these confused little people that I could not be around the balloons and they must stay in the bedroom while I'm over. They didn't understand, why should they, but desperate times were fast upon me and a time-out was warranted to teach them the seriousness of my situation. It must have made an impact because they played an awesome game the other day. They were pretending to be dogs, the dogs name was Martha (or "Marfa" when they say it, my real name) and Martha was allergic to her collar. How fabulous is that! I mean, if they want their pretend characters to be allergic to something then of course their name would have to be Martha!

I love it!

(I now refer to this as the Allergy game!)

Sunny Day Blues

2011-08-01T18:13:00.002-04:00

This morning I woke up, the sun was shining, and I had a crappy day! Work was stressful. I tried to do something the right way instead of lying (the way that was suggested to me by several people.) Apparently taking the moral road doesn't always work out in a immoral world. This led to conflict in my soul. Do I keep trying the honest way and trust that if the result I'm looking for is meant to be that God will give me favor with my boss or do I give up? How willing am I to stand my ground on what I believe no matter how much it sets me apart from my co-workers? Am I ready to be the person who brands herself as different for the sake of pursing the things I think God has for me? Unfortunately, I'm not sure. And thus the stress began.

These kind of days rock me. The OCD in my takes these things and runs with them until I'm so spun around that I can't find my due north. Luckily I have friends who are good listeners. I let go on them. They respond with sound advice. I took my time going home, stopping at various places to visit people. This is a decompression tactic. Going directly home after a day like this will make things worse. At each pit stop along my journey the weight I was carrying became less and less. Then upon arrival at my final destination (aka- home) it started to rain.

I love rain! Rain makes me happy. I know some people approach rain with an "I hate my life, this days sucks, I wanna slit my wrists attitude," but not me. It make me happy!!! There's something about a gray sky and wet earth that makes everything look more beautiful. Greens look brighter, browns look richer, and everything feels more peaceful to me. This was a great stress reliever. As I'm sitting here typing I can hear the rain on my living room window and the sound is so calming. No matter how hard companies have tried, no sound machine will ever do it justice!

I can feel that needle turning again, North is in sight. Over the years I've learned the strategies that allow me to take on a day like this and not let it stick with me too long. And the best part, everyone once in a while, I get a little extra help! (Thanks for the rain. :)

(I promise tomorrow will be more upbeat!)

Single

2011-07-31T16:11:00.002-04:00

This word holds a lot of meaning. Some people like it, some people hate it. I admit I'm not particularly fond of it. But we've all met those people who think the label "single" is almost as bad as having the plague, or like a great big scarlet letter tattooed on your head. (I know most of you have a person in mind right now!) Why is this? What has caused this to be such a stigma?

What about labels in general? Think about it. Single, Married, Divorced, Parent, Grandparent, Student, Graduate, the list goes on and on. What do these labels really mean? Yes they mean the obvious but the label of single only gives you one simple piece of information about my life. Some people take on these "labels" to be the sole meaning of who and what they are. This is sad.

Why do we live in a society where we're always looking forward to the next thing? If only I were married. I can't wait to have kids. I can't wait for my kids to have kids. I wish I was in college. I can't wait to graduate college. Then there the backwards group. I wish I was single again. I wish I could give my kids back. I wish I could quit my job and just be a full time student again. Could it be that no "label" is better than another, just different? Could it be that each period of life has the same amount of joy combined with the same amount of struggles? I think so.

I am not married but I want to be some day. I want to have kids one day as well but I also love my life right now. I love the simpleness of it. I can go where I want when I want. I don't need to consult with anyone. I can spend money the way I choose. I can watch anything I want on TV and the house is always to myself. Although I struggle with times of desperately wanting to share it with someone I also get a little freaked out. I've been by myself for so long how will I adjust to sharing? What if I get what I want and it's not what I expected. It's in these moments that it becomes so very apparent to me that each phase of life will have it's own issues and struggles. So I've decided to be content where I am. I trust that God will give me the things I desire and when I get them I will learn how to deal with those new joys and struggles but until then, I will be happy where I'm at!

Crazy Cat Lady

2011-07-31T00:22:00.004-04:00

Upon restarting this blog I had a lot of fun going through a re-reading all of my old posts from 2007. Some were just plain dumb and I deleted them. Some I left because I either liked them or thought they were important. One thing I noticed was how often I post about cats, mine or others. Why do I do this?

I really think that somewhere deep down inside me is a crazy cat lady dying to get out!

I have a cat but not exactly by choice. Many years ago my friends had a cat who I believe was misunderstood. They were ready to put him down because of his annoying behaviors. I couldn't handle it so he is now mine.

Meet Mortimer!

Here come my confession. I really hate having a cat in my house most of the time. Don't get me wrong. I love cats, I love animals in general, but in my house? It's gross. There's cat hair everywhere! I'm an OCD neat freak. It's a never ending battle, then he tracks cat littler all over. Lets face it, when you have a cat in your house, you also have a box of poop in your house. My cat is also "special." He does not always use his little box as he should! Ewwww! I mean really, if I'm going to invest my time into caring for something, I'd like it to be a human, preferably and child and/or husband! There are days when I look forward to the time in my life when I no longer have an animal living in my house....but then my heart takes over.

I can't handle strays! They break my heart. I came home to one tonight sitting on my stoop. He was waiting for me to pet him (we do this routine often.) I desperately wanted to feed his skinny little body, pick him up and bring him inside where he will have a happy life. Why does my mind always go there. Why can't I be heartless live everyone else and just walk past. But seriously, I'm sitting here at the computer wondering if he's still out on the stoop wishing I would love him. (Can you hear my heart breaking?) The reality is if Mortimer wasn't so darn nasty to other animals I'd probably be that crazy cat lady with of heard living in her home!

(This does not bode well for my hopes of one day leaving the 'singles' category!)

Volume

2011-07-30T13:49:00.002-04:00

I am loud. I laugh loud, I often talk loud, I even type loud! At work this is never a problem since all of my students are hearing impaired but for the rest of my life it can be a bit...well...loud.

I am a loud agreer. (is that a word?) Whenever I hear something I like, or agree with I give a little "hmm," "yeah" or "nice." It's almost like it's beyond my control. Last night I was at a concert for the wonderfully talented Adam Crossley. He loves dissonance in his music. I love dissonance in music. Every time he play a really dissonant chord I let out one of my 'I really like that' sounds. I was unaware I was even doing it until a friend pointed it out. Why do I do this?

Sometimes it's not that big of a deal but I've done this is some venues where it would seem really inappropriate. Last night it was OK. Adam is a very comedic entertainer so my loud laughter and incessant agreeing noise making were not bothering him. It just makes me wonder where this came from. No one in my family does this. Am I just that passionate that I can't hold in my thoughts? Is this an impulse control issue? Or i this just one of those quirks that I have that one day someone will see and love?

I'm gonna go with the last one. Besides, it's what sets me apart from everyone else I know, and I like that!

I was blessed today.

2011-07-28T20:54:00.006-04:00

I have been blessed throughout my entire life with fantastic friends. They have come and gone (some for longer periods than others) but they have all been wonderful! The one's I have now are the best! I guess I've gotten better at picking them as I've gotten older. :)

What makes my friends so great now you ask? We are willing to fight for our friendship! Today was a great example. About a week ago a friend of mine did something (without realizing it) that was irritating to me. During a conversation yesterday it came up and I became upset. In fact angry, and I could feel it growing. I'm a passionate person. Things like this happen often. I can go from 0 to 60 faster than I'd like to admit. I hung up the phone and I could feel myself accelerating. It was happening right before my very eyes. The difference this time? I saw it...and I stopped it!

How you ask, well through e-mail (gotta love technology.) I decided if I didn't want this to escalate into something much bigger (which I also have a tendency to do) I need to shut it down. I e-mailed my friend, told him I was angry but followed it with why I was telling him this. See, I believe that there is a force out there bigger than myself that hates me and wants to separate me from the people who love me and have and will continue to help me grow into the person I'm meant to be. This force was fueling my anger and it needed to stop. That e-mail, slowed it, but it was my friends response that brought it to a grinding halt. He started out his response apologizing even though he didn't know what for, expressed his feeling of frustration in wishing I had shared why I was mad so he could address it within himself, but then followed with this sentence...

"I know this is how you work, so I'm not in any way offended or anxious about this."

This sentence blessed me more than you will ever know. This is a true friend. Someone who knows me, someone who understands that sometimes I need to do things differently than most, someone who cares enough to let me know how they feel. Today we spoke, his response was amazing. Without me having to tell him, he had already figured out why I was upset. He apologized using words like "I took away your power" and "I put you in an awkward position." It was amazing. Instead of an argument with people being hurt and working things out later, it was simple. I'm upset, you realize I'm upset, we talk through it and everything is better in the end.

This is how friendship should be; working together to do life, to grow and to bless one another.

I was blessed today.

(I hope next week when I inadvertently do something that pisses him off he'll respond in a similar fashion. :)

I'm in!

2011-07-27T22:48:00.002-04:00

So, I've decided to do this for awhile. Not sure how many people will read it but it doesn't matter. I've changed the name because I feel like the challenge I have is to be real. To give people the real me, my real thoughts, and what I believe to be real in this world. I apologize ahead of time for my spelling or lack of grammar. They have always been bad!

One of the things I've noticed when reading other blogs is they all seem to follow some sort of theme. Music, mothers, wives, cooks, politics, religion, etc. I have one observation. No blogs out there about singleness. I thought about that for awhile, and then ended with this thought; that sounds like a depressing blog. Then my mind started racing! :)

Maybe it doesn't have to be, maybe someone could just be real, without being depressing or shallow. Maybe I could be that someone. Instead of writing a blog on how to do one part of life, how about just how we do Life!

So here it is, out there for the world to read if they choose. A blog about me, my life, my hopes and dreams, my past, my quirks, the crazy situations I find myself in, my friends, and all the things in between that make this life. AT times it may be boring, but that's Real. Life isn't always fun and exciting but that's OK. Sometimes the great stuff happens in between those times!

I don't like Whiskey but...

2011-07-25T16:27:00.016-04:00

Recently someone posed the question "what do you collect?" I though for awhile going through the most obvious ones. Instruments (although that may be considered more hoarding than collecting) books (but seriously who doesn't have a collection of books in their home) and lanterns (just because I think they look cool) but none of these have any real passion or purpose behind them. (ok maybe the instruments but that's another post for another day.)

What do I collect?

I collect Whiskey bottles.

In 1812 my family owned a distillery in Benton PA. At one point it seems as thought they owned practically the whole town. (that's not saying much, the town is very small!) The buisness burned to the ground in 1911 destroying everything. Since then the original whiskey bottle from the distillery have been very hard to come by and are popular amoung antiques collectors. After the fire the family sold the name of the company to a whiskey company in Kentucky which continued to produce McHenry Whiskey for some time. I have spent a large amount of time looking for both the original bottles from Benton Pa, as well as the newer bottles that were produced in Kentucky. I currently have 5 bottles, 3 of the newer bottles from Kentucky and 2 original bottles from Pa.

These 3 bottles I aquired from my father who got them from his Aunt.

This is one of the original labels to the smaller whiskey bottles sold.

(my Dad had it mounted and framed to preserve it.)

This is one of the original bottles. I Love It!!!

This is the other. I love them. The glass is so old it's is very hard to find one that isn't cracked. You can see all the imperfections in the glass and many times they have bubbles and the glass has broken a bit around the bubble. I was lucky to find these for sale by someone who did not know what they were. $20! (on ebay they usually go for close to $700!)

(I also have a McHenry Whiskey shot glass from the Kentucky plant.)

I'm back...?

2011-07-25T01:00:00.000-04:00

I'm debating returning to the world of blogging. Any thoughts?

Christmas Poem

2007-12-06T16:56:00.000-05:00

Every year my mom sends out a Christmas letter with her Christmas cards. For the past several years she has had each of the three children write a paragraph about our year. This usually makes for a really long letter that doesn't alsways flow so great since we all have different writing styles. After the crazy year that my family has had my mom commented about how she was ever going to fit all of this into a Christmas letter. I suggested that maybe we should stop the "kids writing their own paragraph" since none of us auctually live at home anymore. Then I said it might be cute if we she could somehow write a Christmas poem about the last year. As most suggestions go, I became to volunteer to write the Christmas Poem. I've never written anything like this before but I'm really pleased with the way it turned out and I wanted to share it with you all.

The McHenry Christmas Poem of 2007

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
My nest is now empty, the chicks have all flown,
so this year I am writing to you on my own.
Our family has grown quite a bit through the year,
a wife, a husband, and one little dear.

First Dan took the plunge when he married Anne,
then soon followed Jodi with Seth hand in hand.
It's crazy, two weddings within 30 days,
but what happened next will leave you amazed.
On September 25th the world welcomed Aidan,
God knew what he was doing the day that he made him.
At 9 pounds 6 ounces he is a big boy.
He's cute, he's cuddly, and has brought us much joy.

Jodi and Seth settled in Lancaster, PA,
while Dan and Anne live only five blocks away.
Dan's new job as a teacher is going quite well.
The 2nd graders at Penn Wynne think he's really swell.
Mr. McHenry is the name that most people call Dan,
but at home he's called Daddy by Aidan and Anne.

"The Todds" are quite happy with their new life,
and have settled into their roles as husband and wife.
They both love their jobs, and their animals, too.
Their pets are their children and they have quite a few.

Marti's been busy exercising her mind.
She's learning at Kutztown to teach the blind.
The commute on the turnpike is a bit of a hassle.
She can't wait for the day she receives her tassel.

When Mac and Sam closed it was a bit of a bummer,
but you'll never believe what Dave did this summer.
He went back to school and studied real hard.
He’s a realtor now, just ask for his card.

As for me, I’ve been working more this year than last,
And I can’t believe the time has flown by so fast.
I’m enjoying my family, both the old and the new,
I can’t wait to share our new members with you!
2007 has been one of our best
but now we’re recovering ‘cause we need our rest.
So it’s with many smiles and a lot of delight,
I say Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Back to the Ghetto

2007-11-13T17:17:00.000-05:00

Well it's true, Ghetto Fabulous has returned. My cell phone (which broke and was replaced a few months ago) has broken again! The same problem, it won't ring! I'm back to putting the phone on vibrate and putting it in a metal bowl with my keys. Now whenever my phone rings it makes this crazy vibrating noise that scares the crap out of the cat. It's so ghetto.

My ability to tell time...

2007-11-03T23:25:00.001-04:00

Yesterday morning (friday) my alarm went off and it was time to get up. Typically I set two alarms, my bedroom clock and my cell phone. I'm addicted to the snooze button so I set my phone alarm which tells me I can no longer hit snooze and I absolutely have to get up. Yesterday morning my cell phone never went off.

When I realized it didn't go off I checked my cell phone and the time was an hour behind. I was extreamly confused. My clock said it was 6:56 and my phone said it was 5:56. Was I having a dyslexic moment? If I was wouldn't I be misreading both clocks? Was I just that tired and asleep still that I had lost my ability to tell time? I had no idea. I decided to remedy this situation by going into the kitchen and reading the face clock. This would rule out the dyslexic issue. The kitchen clock said it was 7. I accepted that as the real time and got in the shower.

While I was in the shower I realized that daylight savings was around this time of year. Had I missed it? Was daylight saving last night and somehow I had compleatly ignored it? At this point I'm panicing, thinking that I had gotten up an hour earlier than I needed to when I was exhausted. After I got out of the shower I came into the living room. It still seemed really dark outside. I decided to turn the news on, if anyone would know what time it really was they would. I turned on the TV and it said it was 7:15. Finally I new what time it was.

I went back into the bedroom, looked at my cell phone and it said it was 7:15. At this point I'm thinking WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE!!! Was I going crazy? Was I that tired that I really couldn't tell time? Did I dream the entire situation? I felt very confused. I went to work but thought about it all day. Finally in the afternoon I found out that there was a problem with Verizion and that between 4 and 7 AM all the clocks on the cell phones were an hour early. What a morning that caused me!!!

It's amazing how out of control everything feels when you have no idea what time it is.

The Quilt

2007-10-08T20:34:00.000-04:00

This is the quilt and bumper I made for my nephew. (I am very proud of this creation, I've never made anything like this before) I never took a picture of it so my sister-in-law was nice enough to take a picture of it in use so I could share it with you all.

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!!!

2007-10-02T17:26:00.000-04:00

OK well one of the most wonderful times of the year (no I'm not talking about Christmas, although I am already thinking about Christmas out of respect for my friends who don't want to be hearing about Christmas already in September, I'm keeping these thoughts to myself)

No, I'm talking about individually wrapped Reeses Cup season!!!

Reeses cups are my favorite candy and I will argue with anyone that the individually wrapped ones taste much better than the doubled wrapped ones. Yes you can buy them all year round individually wrapped in a small tray for way too much money, but during halloween season you can by individually wrapped Reese Cups in bulk!!!

It's (one of the) most wonderful time of the year!!!

Another Episode of Ghetto Fabulous

2007-08-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I realized that my drain in my tub was moving very slowly. I decided to scrub the tub and then put some draino in the drain (a method that has worked in the past at unclogging drains) I did this, afterward the drain was no longer moving slowly, it wasn't moving at all. Hmm. Interesting.

I try plunging the tub, nothing happens except that all this black sludge from deep within the drain is in my tub now. This stuff smells funny. ewww!!! My brother come over later to help me with some school work, he looks at the drain and after more plunging and more sludge coming up into the tub he tells me I should go get some of the duel formula foaming draino. I get this, put it in the tub. Nothing happens. Now I have a tub full of water, nasty black drain sludge, and draino chemicals. I decide to call a plumber. (keep in mind that 3 weeks ago my car exhaust died and needed to be replaced and last week my central AC broke, and money does not grow on trees.)

I call my plumber. He's on vacation till next week. great! I call the number he reccomends to call if you need him before next week. This guy never calls me back. I decide that since when the AC guy was on vacation (do we see a theme here) and the man he reccomended came and charge me way too much, that I should tough it out and wait till the person I know gets back into town.

So this is how I have to shower for the next week. I do as much as I can before I get into the shower, brush my teeth, wash my face and wash my hair in the sink. Then I put a rubber maid bin in the bottom of the shower so that while I'm in there my feet won't touch the sludge floating in the tub. When I'm done I have to rinse the soap off my feet before I get out (since I'm now standing in a bin of soapy water) Then I have to take a bucket and transfer the water from the tub to the toilet so that I don't have all this nasty water sitting in the tub all week.

Ghetto Fabulous? I think so!!!

Give a dog a bone

2007-08-09T22:44:00.000-04:00

Every night around 9:30 my parents dog, Buddy, get's all excited. Why you ask, well because it's time to feed the cat. I know this may not seem like typical dog behavior but he loves it. You see most dogs enjoy treats, bones, cookies, whatever you want to call them. My dog loves cat food. He would give anything for cat food. When you feed the cat you drop a few pieces of cat food on the floor. You would think this would be enough to satusfy his craving, but no, then comes wet food. After you scoop the wet food into the bowl, buddy gets the can. He doesn't just lick the can, he plays with it for hours. He gets every last morsel of cat food out of the can. When this is done he carries the can around the house with him for the rest of the night. Occasionally licking it, chewing on it, sleeping with it. This is the highlight of his day.

McHenry's don't seem to do things the normal way, infact if there is an abnormal way to do things, that's what we'll do, even the dog.

Lyrics

2007-08-03T17:46:00.000-04:00

I'm really enjoying these lyrics lately

& i'm trying to make you sing
from inside where you believe
like it's something that you need
like it means everything
& I'm trying to make you feel
that this is for real
that life is happening
& it means everything
i'm just trying to make you sing

Air Conditioning

2007-08-03T10:48:00.000-04:00

My air conditioning is broken. (Things breaking seems to be a theme in my life this week) I know most of you are wondering why this bothers me since I don't use my air conditioner. That's just the thing, today was going to be the day, the day when I stop sweating my butt of for the sake of saving money. I'll admit that I'm not a huge fan of air conditiong and normally I'd avoid it, but it's going to be really hot today and I figured I'd treat myself to some air conditioning while I'm stuck in my house doing some really stressful school work (which will require a hot lap top to be on my lap for several hours)
I called my dad because I know he knows an air conditioning guy that he trusts.

This man is on vacation....vacation!....while my airconditer is broken!

I think air conditioning repair men should not be allowed to go on vacation during the summer!

Lets face it, that's like an army medic going on vacation in the middle of a war!

(OK i think the heat may be getting to me head now!)

Movie Soundtracks

2007-08-03T10:38:00.000-04:00

I love movie soundtracks. I own several of them and I just seem to have a love for the music in movies. I often said that my dream job would be that person who gets to decide what songs would go into movies. Last night I was at my parents house. My dad was watching "The Great Raid" a terrific movie I highly reccomend. This movie has an incredible score. I was in the next room and was compleatly distracted by the music. I love this soundtrack.

Some of my other favorites are...
The Piano
Lonesome Dove
Little Women
A River Runs Through It
The Majestic
Titanic

I know there are others I just can't think of them right now.

(The funny thing is some of these movies I haven't even seen.)

Ghetto Fabulous

2007-07-30T22:40:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I noticed that my car was making a funny noise. It seemed to be slightly louder when I was accelerating. I went into Mac & Sam this morning and scheduled an appointment of friday to have it looked at. While I was there I described what was happening and asked if he thought it was safe to drive to Kutztown this week. He looked at me with that "you're such a girl" look and replied, I can not answer that question without looking at the car first. I have no idea what is wrong with it. I took that as I'm over reacting and left for school.

I leave Kutztown after class. !5 minutes into my hour and a half ride I hear a loud thump followed by my car becoming extreamly noisy and a scraping metal sound happening below. This is the sound of your exhaust falling off your car and dragging on the ground. So now I'm that girl driving on the highway with something dragging from the under part of my car, causing sparks to fly from the metal scraping on the ground. (in case you haven't noticed I love the "I'm that girl" statements.)

I immediately call Enoch and ask what I should do. He tells me to keep driving, I don't listen. I pull over at the first exit, get out a look under my car. I then find out that it was not the back part of the exhaust that fell off, that part is still attached, it's the front part up near the front axel, that has fallen off. It's a good thing I stopped. If i had hit a pot hole that could have been really bad.

Enoch tells me to go to Pep Boys and have them wire the exhaust up so I can drive home. Unfortunately I am in the middle of no-where's-ville with no Pep Boy's in sight. Luckily there is a toyota dealership right next to me. I go in, they won't help me but tell me to drive down the road a mile to an STS. Great I'm back in the car driving with things scraping on the ground again. I get to STS and luckily they helped me, they wired up my exhaust without auctually fixing it (I was under strick instructions by my mechanic not to let anyone fix it, it would cost too much money) for free and I was on my way.

I had to drive with the windows open since now the car keeps filling with exhaust which is coming from under the drivers seat and my car is so loud that people are looking at me but at least I made it home safe and let's be honest, in the scheme of things this was not bad at all. I didn't compleatly break down, no one was hurt or stranded, it only delayed my trip one half hour, I got it sort of fixed for free and it made for a great story. (And if I'm being honest, I love the fact that my car is so loud. I've always had a secret love for those cars that are all suped up and have tips on their exhaust. I know, I'm nuts!) I like to think of my car now a ghetto fabulous!

I'm getting it fixed tomorrow.

Cheesy Christian Music

2007-07-30T22:34:00.000-04:00

Today my car broke driving home from school (more to come about that later) I had to pull off the highway and stop at a tire repair shop to have them fix it enough that I could get home. I nice young guy came and got my car, fixed it in a matter of 15 minutes and pulled it back out for me. I gave him a tip (since he did this for free) and got in my car to be back on my way. When I turned on the car I realized that I left on my worship CD and the song that was playing was really cheesy.

I was imediately mortified that I had left the CD on, normally I would turn the radio off before letting someone else drive my car. Then I instantly felt guilty that I was embarassed by the music. I quickly justified my embarassment by reminding myself that this was a really cheesy song and that I myself might have made fun of it when with friends. Then I felt bad that I was justifying my embarassment. Later I was glad that I had given him a tip, at least now he doesn't think of me as a cheep Christian.

Boy this event has really pointed out quite a few things I need to work on...

Andy McKee

2007-07-22T14:07:00.000-04:00

Here is another amazing guitarist. Enjoy!

Jonny Lang!

2007-07-17T23:57:00.001-04:00

Tonight I went to a Jonny Lang concert. As many of you know he is one of my favorite performers and song writers. Tonight's concert was amazing. I love the way he performs and the songs he sings. During one of the songs tonight I noticed that he changed the lyrics a bit.

They used to say...

"Sometimes it's like I don't even exsist,
even God has lost track of my soul.
Why on earth would he leave me all here like this,
to wander this world all alone."

Tonight he sang it like this...

"I used to feel I didn't even exsist,
like even God had lost track of my soul.
But I know that He loves me and won't leave me like this,
to wander this world all alone."

How cool is that!

my town

2007-07-07T23:36:00.000-04:00

The main street that runs through my town in lined with banners on all of the phone poles. At the bottom of each sign it says the name of my town and then

"Proud of our past, hopeful for our future."

Hmm, that doesn't sound too good for the present state of my town does it?

music

2007-06-24T22:41:00.000-04:00

I'm always looking for good music that's not very popluar. I find that some of the unknown music out there is much better than anything you might find on the radio. A few months ago I was introduced to the John Butler Trio. I found this clip from one of their concerts which just blew my mind. If you have 5 minutes and a love for really good guitar playing, then enjoy.

Mortimer, some things will never change!

2007-06-14T22:54:00.000-04:00

In a few months I'm going to be going away for a week and the question has come up once again about what to do with my cat while I'm away. I've run out of single friends who can stay at my house while I'm gone with my high maintenence cat. My mom is convinced that with a little help mortimer can come to like her home and that way while I'm away mortimer can go stay at my mom's house (with her cat Lothar and Dog Buddy.) I feel this is a lost cause but none the less I loaded mortimer into the cat carrier tonight for a little pet therapy at "grammy's house."

We arrived and mortimer imediately starts hissing at both buddy and lothar. It went something like this. Mortimer hisses at Lothar, Lothar looks at mortimer. Mortimer hisses at buddy, buddy looks at mortimer. Mortimer turns around and hisses at the cat carrier. Mortimer turns to me and hisses at me. Then turns to Lothar and the cycle continues. It was truly a bonding experience for all the animals involved.

After awhile (and a close encounter with mortimer's swatting paw) Lothar got smart and moved to higher ground.

I'm not so sure if he'll be going back to "grammy's" any time soon.

Toes and my inability to walk

2007-05-21T19:21:00.000-04:00

I'm not always so good at walking. Over the course of my life I've blamed it on all kinds of things (the shoes I'm wearing, I can't see well, i'm really tired) but the fact is that I'm just not that great at walking. I am constantly triping and stubbing my toes. Friday was one of those days.

I came home from work and was doing some things around the house. I don't wear shoes in the house (some people think this is too hazordous for me.) I'm walking into the bathroom when I miss judge the door frame and stub my toe really bad. I shout out a few choice phrase words and hobble into the bed room. At this point I decide that walking is too dangerous for me right now and that lying on the bed and watching Oprah would be a safer option. (this is saying a lot because I don't think Oprah is always the best/safest thing to watch.)

After lying on the bed for almost an hour my toe is still throbbing really bad. This can't be good. I begin to walk aorund again which is really painful. My toe at this point is turning a nice shade of purple and is swollen. So swollen in face that when I went out last night I had to wear flip flops becuase shoes just hurt too much.

By Saturday morning my entire toe, both top and bottom and a little into my foot was compleatly black and blue. I would be worried if this was the first time this has happened but unfortunately this is not a unusual event in my life. I'm sure if I ever took the time to have these things exrayed I would find that I have broken my toe at least 2 or 3 times. :o(

mothers day and family pictures

2007-05-14T15:32:00.000-04:00

Back at christmas time my sister and her husband had a family picture taken on them infront of their fire place with their dog. It was a really cute picture and they sent it out with their Christmas Cards. My mom loved the picture so much she went and bought a nice frame. The picture now sits on an end table in the living room.

Then in March my brother and his wife had their picture taken infront of my parents fireplace at their rehersal dinner. My mom also loved this picture very much and got a nice frame for it. This picture now sits next to my sisters on the end table in the living room.

I was feeling left out, so I got my mom a nice frame for mothers day and put this picture in it.

another new family member

2007-05-10T21:00:00.000-04:00

My family just keeps growing and growing.

I am pleased to introduce to you, my nephew

(to be named later...)

The man in my life

2007-04-27T21:54:00.000-04:00

Some people have asked me to post a picture of Mortimer, my cat. Here he is in all his glory!

The title of my blog is Me, Myself and I because I'm single but Mortimer is included in this title because lets face it, he is truly the ruler of my house. Everything has to be his way and he definitely lets me know when he is not happy. But that's OK I love him dearly. Mortimer is definitely an "only child" type of cat so I guess I have him to thank because without him I would be the cat lady. Yes it's true, without him in my life all of the followng cats would currently be living in my small 2 bedroom apartment.

These are my babies. I devoted a large amount of 2006 caring for them. I've never loved any other animals as much as I loved them (sorry mortimer.) It's a love that I think only Tim Kaiser can understand (he also has an extream love for an animal that is no longer in his life.) The white and tan kitten is my absolute favorite animal in the entire universe. I named her Missy, the coolest cat there ever was!

This is the above kittens mother and her second litter of last season (she really got around!) Unfortunately my babies are no longer under my care. They have extreamly happy lives with other people now who love them even more then I do and spoil them on a daily basis. (or at least that's how their lives are in my head because anything less is too much to bear)