Martha

Martha is my legal birth name but I've have been called Marti by everyone since that same day I was born. For the longest time I hated the name Martha. It seemed old fashioned, outdated, and I did not feel that it describe me at all. Ironically enough when you look at Mary and Martha in the Bible I clearly show the characteristics of Martha in everything I do!

About 10 years ago my dear friend Dan found out my real name was Martha. He loves this name and (after a conversation about it) has been calling me Martha ever since. This is one of my closest friends and in his calling me Martha I really began to feel as if the beauty that he saw in this name was a reflection on me, who I am, and who God has created me to be. Whenever he called me by it, it felt as though it was such a heartfelt term of endearment. Like a bond that far surpasses friendship. To this day it brings joy to my heart when he and his family use my name, especially when his children refer to me as "Marfa!"

Over the past few years others (friends of Dan's and mine) have started referring to me as Martha. I have to be honest in saying that it does not feel the same. Where as Dan's 'Martha' comes from a place of love for me and a point of beauty in my life, it often feels that others refer to me by this name simply as the "in thing" or that they are my close friends and therefor think it's almost a right of passage to call me this. It's even gone as far as these people telling others not to call me this because they don't know me well enough! It has nothing to do with how well you know me. It's more about a special bond that has been created between 2 people by going through things together. Almost as if letting someone call me Martha is letting them into an even deeper more venerable part of me. Therefor it doesn't always feel comfortable when people outside of a select group of probably only 4 people calls me this. (interestingly enough these few people were the ones who actually asked me about it before calling me Martha. Almost as if they new it was a deeper place for me that they did not want to enter without permission.) Don't get me wrong, I love all of my friends which is why I let it go. I know they are just trying to love me back.

Today someone whom I have know for over 12 years referred to me as Martha for the first time. In his doing so, those 'term of endearment' feelings came flooding into my heart. It was as if someone else discovered who I am and the greatness that I have to offer this world. My heart was overflowing. I could not let it go unacknowledged. The small yet meaningful conversation (via text message) went like this.

Him: Thanks Martha, I appreciate it a lot.

Me: :) You called me Martha :)

Him: Yep, I think I might from now on

Me: Yup :)

This little conversation was a great ending to a great weekend!