Embarrassing Moments

Recently, a blog I follow has been going through the writers 5 most embarrassing moments. They are some of the most hysterical stories I've ever read. Thank God they didn't happen to me.

(if you have time and want to laugh you should check out

The Ranting Housewife.)

It has made me think, what are my most embarrassing moments? I've thought and thought and the reality is, I can't think of one. Now I'm sure that there have been things that have embarrassed me. I mean my mothers very existence embarrassed me through most of my teen years. But I can't think of any stories where I was "hide my head in a hole, find a cave to die in, change my identity, embarrassed."

I've thought about this for a few days, and the reason is...I've never let myself. Yes that's correct. I've never let myself be embarrassed. Because in order to be embarrassed you have to be noticed. People have to know your existence and I have spent most of my life trying to blend into the wall and go unnoticed. Yes, I am a musician and have spent my fair share of time on stage but then I always felt like I was hiding behind the music. All my life I have hidden behind things. Why do I do this?

Why am I so insecure that I don't want to put myself out there and be venerable? What am I so afraid of. I need to stop hiding, stop trying to order my life in such a way that everything goes as planed and nothing is left to circumstance. I want to be this way. I need to let people notice me, because I actually believe I'm worth noticing. SO... no more hiding behind my music, my friends, my organization, my busyness, or my commitments.

So something embarrassing might happen, who cares, it'll make for an amazingly funny blog post someday!!!