Music

Things in my life are not as I would have hoped they would be at this point.  Many things.  Recently I've been fighting the "why me" attitude that is really just a trap into a downward spiral.  It is difficult during these times to keep my heart from getting hard, calloused by the many things that seem to be going wrong, and stay positive.

The one thing that keeps my heart soft?
Music.
It gets to me like nothing else can.
It reaches a place where even my moods can't go and brightens my soul during even those darkest times.
To me music is a living, breathing creature.
It is a constant.

Tonight I was listening to a song with the most beautiful cello.  At one point it came through so magnificently that tears came to my eyes and as it continued it was almost as if those notes were a vessel for my own release of emotion.  Never wanting or expecting a certain reaction, it was exactly what I needed it to be.  I played this song on repeat for almost 30 minutes.  It was beautiful, it was therapeutic, and it was taking me to a place where my heart was soft.  If only for those minutes I was able to feel joy simultaneously with pain, lightness along with a heavy heart, peace in the midst of uncertainty, and relaxation along side of tension.  A reminder that not everything is wrong, that some things are exactly as they should be, that some things will not fail me.

Over the course of my (soon to be) 33 years I have found very few people who have shared this understanding of music.  I consider these people true gems in my life.  Their understanding of this ability to be changed by simply a sound creates a brotherhood.  It reminds me of the hope this worlds surely has to offer if we just open ourselves up enough to experience it.