Single

This word holds a lot of meaning. Some people like it, some people hate it. I admit I'm not particularly fond of it. But we've all met those people who think the label "single" is almost as bad as having the plague, or like a great big scarlet letter tattooed on your head. (I know most of you have a person in mind right now!) Why is this? What has caused this to be such a stigma?

What about labels in general? Think about it. Single, Married, Divorced, Parent, Grandparent, Student, Graduate, the list goes on and on. What do these labels really mean? Yes they mean the obvious but the label of single only gives you one simple piece of information about my life. Some people take on these "labels" to be the sole meaning of who and what they are. This is sad.

Why do we live in a society where we're always looking forward to the next thing? If only I were married. I can't wait to have kids. I can't wait for my kids to have kids. I wish I was in college. I can't wait to graduate college. Then there the backwards group. I wish I was single again. I wish I could give my kids back. I wish I could quit my job and just be a full time student again. Could it be that no "label" is better than another, just different? Could it be that each period of life has the same amount of joy combined with the same amount of struggles? I think so.

I am not married but I want to be some day. I want to have kids one day as well but I also love my life right now. I love the simpleness of it. I can go where I want when I want. I don't need to consult with anyone. I can spend money the way I choose. I can watch anything I want on TV and the house is always to myself. Although I struggle with times of desperately wanting to share it with someone I also get a little freaked out. I've been by myself for so long how will I adjust to sharing? What if I get what I want and it's not what I expected. It's in these moments that it becomes so very apparent to me that each phase of life will have it's own issues and struggles. So I've decided to be content where I am. I trust that God will give me the things I desire and when I get them I will learn how to deal with those new joys and struggles but until then, I will be happy where I'm at!

Crazy Cat Lady

Upon restarting this blog I had a lot of fun going through a re-reading all of my old posts from 2007. Some were just plain dumb and I deleted them. Some I left because I either liked them or thought they were important. One thing I noticed was how often I post about cats, mine or others. Why do I do this?

I really think that somewhere deep down inside me is a crazy cat lady dying to get out!

I have a cat but not exactly by choice. Many years ago my friends had a cat who I believe was misunderstood. They were ready to put him down because of his annoying behaviors. I couldn't handle it so he is now mine.

Meet Mortimer!

Here come my confession. I really hate having a cat in my house most of the time. Don't get me wrong. I love cats, I love animals in general, but in my house? It's gross. There's cat hair everywhere! I'm an OCD neat freak. It's a never ending battle, then he tracks cat littler all over. Lets face it, when you have a cat in your house, you also have a box of poop in your house. My cat is also "special." He does not always use his little box as he should! Ewwww! I mean really, if I'm going to invest my time into caring for something, I'd like it to be a human, preferably and child and/or husband! There are days when I look forward to the time in my life when I no longer have an animal living in my house....but then my heart takes over.

I can't handle strays! They break my heart. I came home to one tonight sitting on my stoop. He was waiting for me to pet him (we do this routine often.) I desperately wanted to feed his skinny little body, pick him up and bring him inside where he will have a happy life. Why does my mind always go there. Why can't I be heartless live everyone else and just walk past. But seriously, I'm sitting here at the computer wondering if he's still out on the stoop wishing I would love him. (Can you hear my heart breaking?) The reality is if Mortimer wasn't so darn nasty to other animals I'd probably be that crazy cat lady with of heard living in her home!

(This does not bode well for my hopes of one day leaving the 'singles' category!)

Volume

I am loud. I laugh loud, I often talk loud, I even type loud! At work this is never a problem since all of my students are hearing impaired but for the rest of my life it can be a bit...well...loud.

I am a loud agreer. (is that a word?) Whenever I hear something I like, or agree with I give a little "hmm," "yeah" or "nice." It's almost like it's beyond my control. Last night I was at a concert for the wonderfully talented Adam Crossley. He loves dissonance in his music. I love dissonance in music. Every time he play a really dissonant chord I let out one of my 'I really like that' sounds. I was unaware I was even doing it until a friend pointed it out. Why do I do this?

Sometimes it's not that big of a deal but I've done this is some venues where it would seem really inappropriate. Last night it was OK. Adam is a very comedic entertainer so my loud laughter and incessant agreeing noise making were not bothering him. It just makes me wonder where this came from. No one in my family does this. Am I just that passionate that I can't hold in my thoughts? Is this an impulse control issue? Or i this just one of those quirks that I have that one day someone will see and love?

I'm gonna go with the last one. Besides, it's what sets me apart from everyone else I know, and I like that!

I was blessed today.

I have been blessed throughout my entire life with fantastic friends. They have come and gone (some for longer periods than others) but they have all been wonderful! The one's I have now are the best! I guess I've gotten better at picking them as I've gotten older. :)

What makes my friends so great now you ask? We are willing to fight for our friendship! Today was a great example. About a week ago a friend of mine did something (without realizing it) that was irritating to me. During a conversation yesterday it came up and I became upset. In fact angry, and I could feel it growing. I'm a passionate person. Things like this happen often. I can go from 0 to 60 faster than I'd like to admit. I hung up the phone and I could feel myself accelerating. It was happening right before my very eyes. The difference this time? I saw it...and I stopped it!

How you ask, well through e-mail (gotta love technology.) I decided if I didn't want this to escalate into something much bigger (which I also have a tendency to do) I need to shut it down. I e-mailed my friend, told him I was angry but followed it with why I was telling him this. See, I believe that there is a force out there bigger than myself that hates me and wants to separate me from the people who love me and have and will continue to help me grow into the person I'm meant to be. This force was fueling my anger and it needed to stop. That e-mail, slowed it, but it was my friends response that brought it to a grinding halt. He started out his response apologizing even though he didn't know what for, expressed his feeling of frustration in wishing I had shared why I was mad so he could address it within himself, but then followed with this sentence...

"I know this is how you work, so I'm not in any way offended or anxious about this."

This sentence blessed me more than you will ever know. This is a true friend. Someone who knows me, someone who understands that sometimes I need to do things differently than most, someone who cares enough to let me know how they feel. Today we spoke, his response was amazing. Without me having to tell him, he had already figured out why I was upset. He apologized using words like "I took away your power" and "I put you in an awkward position." It was amazing. Instead of an argument with people being hurt and working things out later, it was simple. I'm upset, you realize I'm upset, we talk through it and everything is better in the end.

This is how friendship should be; working together to do life, to grow and to bless one another.

I was blessed today.

(I hope next week when I inadvertently do something that pisses him off he'll respond in a similar fashion. :)

I'm in!

So, I've decided to do this for awhile. Not sure how many people will read it but it doesn't matter. I've changed the name because I feel like the challenge I have is to be real. To give people the real me, my real thoughts, and what I believe to be real in this world. I apologize ahead of time for my spelling or lack of grammar. They have always been bad!

One of the things I've noticed when reading other blogs is they all seem to follow some sort of theme. Music, mothers, wives, cooks, politics, religion, etc. I have one observation. No blogs out there about singleness. I thought about that for awhile, and then ended with this thought; that sounds like a depressing blog. Then my mind started racing! :)

Maybe it doesn't have to be, maybe someone could just be real, without being depressing or shallow. Maybe I could be that someone. Instead of writing a blog on how to do one part of life, how about just how we do Life!

So here it is, out there for the world to read if they choose. A blog about me, my life, my hopes and dreams, my past, my quirks, the crazy situations I find myself in, my friends, and all the things in between that make this life. AT times it may be boring, but that's Real. Life isn't always fun and exciting but that's OK. Sometimes the great stuff happens in between those times!

I don't like Whiskey but...

Recently someone posed the question "what do you collect?" I though for awhile going through the most obvious ones. Instruments (although that may be considered more hoarding than collecting) books (but seriously who doesn't have a collection of books in their home) and lanterns (just because I think they look cool) but none of these have any real passion or purpose behind them. (ok maybe the instruments but that's another post for another day.)

What do I collect?

I collect Whiskey bottles.

In 1812 my family owned a distillery in Benton PA. At one point it seems as thought they owned practically the whole town. (that's not saying much, the town is very small!) The buisness burned to the ground in 1911 destroying everything. Since then the original whiskey bottle from the distillery have been very hard to come by and are popular amoung antiques collectors. After the fire the family sold the name of the company to a whiskey company in Kentucky which continued to produce McHenry Whiskey for some time. I have spent a large amount of time looking for both the original bottles from Benton Pa, as well as the newer bottles that were produced in Kentucky. I currently have 5 bottles, 3 of the newer bottles from Kentucky and 2 original bottles from Pa.

These 3 bottles I aquired from my father who got them from his Aunt.

This is one of the original labels to the smaller whiskey bottles sold.

(my Dad had it mounted and framed to preserve it.)

This is one of the original bottles. I Love It!!!

This is the other. I love them. The glass is so old it's is very hard to find one that isn't cracked. You can see all the imperfections in the glass and many times they have bubbles and the glass has broken a bit around the bubble. I was lucky to find these for sale by someone who did not know what they were. $20! (on ebay they usually go for close to $700!)

(I also have a McHenry Whiskey shot glass from the Kentucky plant.)

I'm back...?

I'm debating returning to the world of blogging. Any thoughts?