Shoes...an observation.

So recently I've been seeing a lot of stray shoes along the side of the road. This always makes me question "How did they get there?"

Is someone randomly driving down the street and their shoe just flies out the window? (Yes, usually it's just one stray shoe!) Was someone dangling there foot out the window of their car when their shoe suddenly fell off? Did they lose one foot in a tragic accident and the stress of it all cause them to violently throw their (now) footless shoe out the window while driving?

Seriously, how does this happen. I've seen at least 3 or 4 shoes in the road this past week. I myself know the stress of losing one shoe. I spent the last 3 months looking for a lost shoe, yup, just one. I had the right one, but could not locate the left one. At least I had an excuse. My left foot spent like a bazillion years in a walking cast. (OK so maybe it wasn't a bazillion but it was pretty close to half a year!) I was only able to wear one shoe and in the craziness of it all one shoe was misplaced. I'm happy to report that the missing shoe was found last week. But I do feel bad for all the other shoe wearers out there who will be forever looking for a lost shoe that will never be found because it was misplaced on the side of Rt. 1.

Poor lonely shoe! I feel sorry for you!

Bed Time

When I was little I had a bed time. I hated it. Seriously who wants to be confined to the limits of a clock and when it tells you to sleep and wake up. As an adult I have taken full advantage of the fact that I don't have anyone telling me to go to bed. I pretty much go to sleep when I'm tired. That would seem normal, but I have sleep problems, so therefor I am really never tired, at least not until 2:30am or after. I actually changed the setting on this blog so that people can't see the time I post because it's usually so late!

The problem, I'm also tired all day. I can honestly say that over the past 2 years, I might only have 10 days I can remember where I wasn't tired! This is part of my issue, chronic fatigue and an internal clock that wants to function on the same schedule as a vampire! I've been doing some research about how to make this easier for me and one of the things I've read a lot about it sleep hygiene. That's basically... a bed time! Articles I've read recommend going to bed and waking up at the same time each day! Crap!

So here it goes. I'm going to try to give myself a bed time. With school starting back up and needing to wake up early, my goal is to try to be in bed between 10:30 and 11 on week nights. This will get me almost 7 hours a night during the week. Now like I said, this is a goal, not the law. Lets face it, it's 11:02 right now, I'm not in bed yet. But I am going to try this. Last year I spent the entire school year getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night during the week and then sleeping the entire weekend away recovering. I don't want to do that again!

I'm going to change my setting back to viewing the time on here. Hopefully that will help to keep me on track. I'll let you know how it goes. Hopefully this will help to reset my clock to feeling awake during the day and sleeping at night.

Good Night!

Wawa Guy

I've been putting off posting this, mainly because I feel like I'm supposed to, and I have a hard time doing those things most of the time. Here it goes. (for the sake of full disclosure, this post may be long.)

At small group last week we were talking about crazy things God has done. Stories that will show His power and motivate us to do more. I had one. I didn't want to share it. But I had to. A few people there new this story and I could feel there eyes looking at me so I shared this...

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Several years ago friends and I were hanging out at my friend Patrick's house. Patrick has some awesome stories. Stories of crazy things he's seen God do. They are fascinating and he is good at telling them. My friend Mark and I had heard many of them before and were to the point where we would request some of them again and again. We were like kids sitting at the foot of a relative begging them to tell us crazy things about their past. I loved these nights. They were inspiring to me and gave me hope that I too could see crazy things happen.

I went home and that night laying in bed I prayed, God I want stories like that. I want you to use me like that. I want to be part of amazing things happening. About 3 minutes later I had a thought run through my head that was louder then a freight train say "Go to the Wawa in West Chester and tell the guy behind the counter that God loves him." I immediately got a picture in my head of the guy. (Rewind another few years. I had seen this guy on WCU's campus. Some of my friends new him from a former church and said hi to him once. God really knows what He's doing because for some strange reason I remember that 30 second encounter like it happened yesterday.)

Immediately I panicked. This couldn't be God. God you can't possible want me to do that. That's crazy! That's scary! That will make me look like a fool! Give me something easier! This was all too much for me. I went to bed. For the next several weeks I argued with God back and forth. This was nuts, I couldn't do it, blah, blah, blah!

Uncle!!!

Finally one night I gave in. Got in my car and drove out to West Chester (about 40 minutes from where I lived at the time.) I pull up to the Wawa. There he was standing out front, smoking a cigarette with some other guys. He had blue hair :) He actually looked like someone I would want to hang out with. Fun, not stuck up, a little rebellious. Way cooler then a lot of people I knew from church who quite frankly, were a bit boring and nerdy.

Holy Shit!!! I can't do this! I left. All the way home I kept reasoning with God. You don't need me to do this. My friends said they new him from church, he already knows You, he doesn't need this. By the time I got home I felt so guilty. Why was I such a coward (not the word I used but for the sake of the readers I will edit myself!) It was then that this began to gnaw at my soul. God had asked me to do something. Who was I to say no? For the next several weeks I drove to that Wawa 2 or 3 times a week. Every time I went, he was not there. I had failed, not just myself but God as well. What was wrong with me. I gave up and accepted that God changed his mind due to my lack of boldness and didn't want to use me.

About a month later I was visiting some friends in West Chester and needed gas on the way home. I naturally stopped at Wawa. On the way there it occurred to me that he might be there. Upon pulling into the parking lot I saw him at the counter. My heart started pounding, I felt nauseous, I was sweating. I can't do this! (I have since learned that when those symptoms occur it's because I am absolutely supposed to do it.)

I sat in the car. Got out and pumped my gas, and then got up enough courage to walk inside, but instead of going to pay, I made a bee line for the bathroom. I stood in the stall, praying. God, if you really want me to do this (I know, I'm a little slow) then there has to be no one in line behind me. Seriously!? Who reasons with God like that. Me that's who, I was desperate. I left the bathroom and went to pay and miraculously there was no one in line behind me. Crap!!! Come on people, don't you want to pay right now!?! Why do you all have to be so slow at picking out what kind of chips to eat!!!

It was now or never. I went to pay, gave my pump number, handed my cash and then with every once of boldness I could muster said "You know, God really loves you. I can just see it by looking at you." TIME FROZE!!! I did it!!! (Yes this is another one of those moments where I should be more concerned for the other person but kinda forgot about them due to my own excitement.) I finally looked at him. He looked frozen, money in hand, cash register open, just staring at me. He might deny it but it really looked like his eyes were welling up with tears.

What had I done? Did I hit a nerve? Maybe I was really supposed to do this. (I know, I'm pretty much a dumb ass when it comes to these things!) I then started to feel really awkward. I was that person, that freak, that crazy Christian that I hate. Or was I? He politely said "Thank You," but it was the kind of thank you that comes out in such a way that you know the person really, truly means it. That thank you hit my heart hard. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

I left. On my drive home I was overflowing. I'm not sure with what but it was a good feeling. I guess it was joy now that I'm thinking about it. It just felt like God was blessing me. I was on cloud 9! It was like all those months of fighting with God about this and chickening out didn't matter any more. I had done what I was supposed to do.

Now in most cases of others stories I've heard this would be the end, but I got lucky. A while later some friends of mine went on a missions trip to Mexico. When they got home they had a night at their church to come hear about it. I went. My Wawa guy was there! He had gone on the trip with his family! Are you freaking kidding me?!? I got to hear stories about what had happened there, what he was apart of. It was almost like God was saying "See, you should listen to me more often!" I'm not sure what my "Wawa guy" (as my friends refer to him) is up to know and I'm not sure just what kind of impact that night had on him. All I know is that he has a beautiful wife and son, write hysterical face book posts, and he was part of one of the biggest life changing moments of my life.

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Later it occurred to me that almost all of Patrick's crazy God stories took place in bars...maybe this type of thing is a little easier when you have a few drinks in you!!!

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!!!

More like Earthquakes, Tornado's and Hurricanes!!!

What a week we've had here. So many natural disasters, so little time! Let me take you through a photo journey of the past 48 hours!

Preparing for Hurricane Irene I went grocery shopping. My mom mentioned I should get some water just in case. Apparently other people heard the same thing!

In order to avoid loosing my trash cans or having them crash into my car or house (or someone else's) I had to bring them into the house. This killed me. How gross having your outdoor trash can near where you prepare food! It's disgusting!!! (The one good thing is that my trash can is so enormously large that I could fit the recycle can inside of it.)

I finally got too scared and Mortimer and I went to my parents house. With the amount of Tornado warning there were combined with the large amount of huge trees behind their house, we went to the basement and slept there. A few years ago my parents basement was a nice room full of furniture to entertain with, now it has become a storage room for extra furniture that has no home. Meaning our only options for sitting were an old chair and a desk chair, but you could have your choice and the 4 end tables and 1 coffee table. Other then that it was the floor.

Driving home the next day I could check out the damage. Lots of roads were closed making my normal 1o minute drive from my parents to my house a 40 minute drive.

The local pool runs right next to a creek which flooded a lot.

The pool is now closed for the rest of the season!

This picture doesn't do it justice but the local water treatment plant had so much water in its holding pond that is was pouring over the edge and the road around it was closed.

Around the corner from my house a huge tree fell on an apartment building.

Luckily I got home and my house was fine. No water, no damage, no tree limbs in the backyard! It was the best outcome I could have hoped for.

Un-loved letters

Tonight, after a wonderful evening at BRV, Dave & I hunkered down in his studio with some beers and guitars to work on our set list for tomorrow mornings worship (which I guess is technically today now!) We had fun (as we always do) and goofed off for part of this time.

Upon flipping through the book of music (while also discussing the upcoming organization of the the newly renovated stage wing room) it was brought up that there are no worship songs that start with the letters Z or Q. I commented that if we were to write songs beginning with those letters that we would become famous, not because we are gifted song writers or because the songs would be good, but because everyone would notice that there is finally a song behind that letter tab in their book!

And that is when Dave started singing...

His first song, titled "Quit Smoking" (a country tune)

"Quite Smoking...because God wants you to, Worship Jesus...because God wants you to, mow your lawn...because God wants you too..." You can imagine how the rest of the song went!

The Second song, titled "Zebra" (an 80's tune)

"Zebra's, they're a part of God's creation. Elephants are also a part of God's creation" and so on and so on...

I'm realizing now that we forgot about the letter X which also has no songs behind it.

I bet that one would be pretty easy since there could be so many metaphors between how God sees us, and an x-ray machine!

Performers

Performers amaze me!

I know what you're thinking..."you're a musician, wouldn't that make you some kind of performer?"

Technically yes. But let me explain. My musical upbringing and training was classical. Classical performing is very specific. There are no huge technical/electrical/mechanical issues that can arise. It's you and your instrument. Maybe a microphone. The audience is specifically there to hear you and are therefor respectful of what is happening. In some classical venues I could have heard a pin drop the audience was so quiet.

Fast forward to the kind of music I listen to. It's not classical. Therefor the performers amaze me. Recently I've seen some shows that put the performers through all kinds of situations. A noisy crowd, the power going out, the roof leaking onto the stage (almost right on top of the singer and his keyboard!) batteries dying in acoustic guitars, wireless guitar hookups malfunctioning, drunk audience members...Seriously how do they put up with all of this without missing a beat and keeping their audience captivated. Yet they all manage to with ease! As crazy as all of this sounds it doesn't even compare to the best on stage flop/recovery I've ever seen!

A neighborhood school where I grew up puts on rally amazing musicals. I went to see one awhile back. West Side Story. It was really good. There's a great scene at the end (sorry if this spoils it for you but if you haven't seen it yet then you're a little behind anyway.) There a fight that breaks out between 2 guys while a girl stands by. There is a scuffle and in the end one of the guys gets shot and the girl goes running and falls over him crying. It's a great scene. Especially when I saw it. Apparently during the on stage scuffle one of the fake swings accidentally hit the girl in the face...breaking her nose...on stage! Luckily just a few moments later the guy gets shot. So this quick thinking actress falls onto the guy (looking distraught over the fact he got shot.) She was down there for a bit longer then seemed necessary. Apparently she was waiting for her nose to stop bleeding. Yep, it was bleeding. Luckily it stopped quickly and she finished the show (it was almost the end.) And it all looked like it was supposed to be that way because the blood on his shirt just looked like a gun shot wound. It looked so real, like it was supposed to happen that way! In fact the only reason I new it wasn't supposed to happen that way was because the friend I saw it with had seen it already and commented "where did that blood come from? That didn't happen last time!?!"

After the show she went to the ER. Now that's one heck of a dedicated performer!!!

Now I know I'm not skinny, but...

Today was interesting. I had an experience.

Let me start by saying that I lived my entire life in a house with uneven floors. Upon walking through the dining room the china cabinet would always shake. Now in my current house when walking through the living room the TV cabinet doors shake. I'm used to this.

OK fast forward to today.

I was walking down the main hall at work and upon walking next to the trophy case the glass doors shook a bit. Now here's where my brain goes crazy. It has become apparent to me that I can think thoughts 1,000 x's faster then I could ever speak them. I begin thinking.

(My thoughts over the next 30 seconds go as follows.)

I don't remember those doors rattling before. Was I walking differently. Am I walking heavier then I used to. Did I gain weight over the summer. I continue walking. The floor is rattling as well. What is going on? Why is my walking causing this!?! This can't be possible! I'm not walking that differently. I notice the carpet is wet. Is the wetness somehow causing the floor to rattle more. I stop walking. The I look up and realize that the lights and walls are shaking too! Seriously! Is this a joke! Am I going crazy!?! I actually begin to panic! Somethings going on! I'm not sure if it's me or reality but I don't think I should be in this hallway anymore. I turn around to walk out when office doors start opening. People starting coming out looking confused, wondering if anyone else just had the same experience they did.

Phew! I thought it was me. At this point I actually say that out loud. Upon which everyone starts laughing.

This will probably be the butt of many jokes for years to come! Everyone seemed to think it was so hysterical that I could even possibly think that my walking caused an entire building to shake.

I've known that I am not normal for some time now, but I think some more people at work were brought into the reality today!

Human Barometer

Recently I've made several comments about being a human barometer. Yesterday I had someone ask me what I mean by that. Here is my explanation.

My body is not the greatest. I've often joked that I am 30 years old with the aches and pains of an 80 year old! Over the course of my life I have had injuries that have left large amounts of scar tissue throughout my body. This combined with the high amounts of inflammation I have cause me to have pain when the weather changes.

When the weather is nice (meaning the sun is shining, the temperature is normal for that time of year and the sky is not cloudy) the barometric pressure is usually pretty close to 30. On days when the weather is a little drab/crappy the pressure can drop to around 99.75 and when it's really bad like a big storm or front coming in it can go as low as 99.5.

I can pretty much identify when the barometer gets below 99.8. On those days I start to feel pain.

-It begins in my feet (Mainly because that is my most recent injury.) My feet will ache, almost as if I've spent an entire day standing in bad shoes, only I haven't. Every step is painful.

-Then my shoulders will ache, like I've been lifting my arms up and down doing jumping jacks for hours. They will burn like they have been overused.

-My low back will also start to ache. At first it will be a dull ache but will get worse as the pressure gets lower.

-My neck also gets tight. After a few hours of this it will turn into a tension headache which can only be helped by sleep, or lying on a special wedge I have to relax the muscles.

-If I'm doing an activity that uses my arms a lot on these days (like playing guitar) my wrists and forearms will hurt as well.

-When it is really bad my hips will hurt as well.

My "human barometer" days can vary from experiencing one thing on that list to a combination of things to all of those things. It's not fun but I am unfortunately used to it. Recently we have been experiencing bad weather. For the past week we have had several thunderstorms that were worse than I've seen in years! The storms were cool! The effect they had on my body were not! My feet are still recovering.

Today was beautiful, the weather was wonderful, and the pressure was around 99.87.

I was a happy girl today!

Late Night Conversations

Why is it that the best conversations seem to start after 10:00 PM?

At least in my life that has always been the case. It's almost as if the fatigue we feel causes us to let down our normally placed guards and just say whats really on our minds. My friend Bob and I usually don't start talking about serious things until midnight or after and these conversations go into the wee hours of the morning. I love them! They are fun, exciting, thought provoking, and help me to think about things in a better way.

Tonight while hanging out with some other friends I got into one of those conversations. While standing in the driveway of said friends home, we went through a huge list of topics discussing the good and bad of all sorts of things. It was great! So great we didn't even realize it was almost 2:00 AM!

To me the best kind of conversations are the ones that go on and on and at some point someone just has to say stop or they will keep going. The best part is that these kinds of conversations only work well with good friends. The kind that really care what you have to say and will still love you no matter what comes out of your mouth (and vice versa.)

I have great friends and I love talking with them!

For the Kids...

It's that time of year again.

Children are buzzing with excitement about going back to school, purchasing school supplies, buying a new book bag, and finding out who has what teacher! I remember this being a very exciting time.

Now I'm on the teacher side of this and I admit that my excitement level is not as high as the kids. I don't really want to go back, summer is so relaxing! The one thing that does motivate me a bit to get started is setting up my classroom. I love organizing, and this is the perfect time of year to organize. All throughout the last school year things have gotten switched around, moved, misplaced and thrown about. Now is this time to get things back in order! Lets face it, if it's not organized by the time the kids show up, it never will be!!!

Like the students there are some things that I needed to buy for this year so this weekend I did my "back to school" shopping. This is where the problem begins. I'm an impulse buyer. Stores are full of things I never new I had to have. Today I went to Jo Ann fabrics for 2 things I needed and bought 7 other things. I also went to Staples and left with 6 more things then were on my original list. The problem is I can always justify this in my head....

It's for the kids!

Everywhere I go I see things that would either make them happy, make their lives easier, or be just plain old fun! Their lives are hard enough and I look at my job as not only teaching them but making their lives better, easier and full of more joy than before. How can I turn down these purchases?

In writing that sounds very nice, but today I justified buying fake leaves, magnets, hooks and storage containers. Lets face it, these are all things that will make MY life easier and more joyful. The kids could care less if all their things are hung with matching magnets or stored in neatly organized containers.

I mean come on Marti, they're blind, they can't see it anyway!!!

Addiction

I am addicted to iced tea...seriously addicted. At one point in my life I drank it morning noon and night, almost a gallon a day. I love it. It's not just the caffeine, it's the taste. I love it!!! My iced tea of choice is the Swiss Farms brand with Wawa coming in a close second.

Last December I had a horrific experience with Kidney Stones. I'll spare you most of the details but lets just say the excruciating pain, two ER visits, a 4 day hospital stay with surgery at the end and a 3 week recovery was brutal. I was told that my experience was much worst than most other kidney stone sufferers. After a battery of tests I was told that my stones were being produced by Oxalate, which is a substance found in...tea leaves!

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! It can't be possible!!! My #1 ingested beverage has caused this hell!!! What am I going to do. My Dr. told me that I needed to stop drinking iced tea. He quickly realized (by the look on my face) that this was not going to go over well. In the end he told me to reduce the amount I drink significantly. I'll admit that it was a little easier to swallow (no pun intended) knowing that I could still have some each day, just not 6 glasses.

8 months later and my confession to you is that I have not done so well in the weening off process. How is this going to be possible!?! I love it! It would seem that quitting anything could be easier than this. I crave the taste. I have to have it!

The past few days I haven't been feeling so well, run down, tired, and I've had some pain in my back. Instantly fear starts welling up inside me. Could this be happening again? Is this the beginning of a month of torture? Just the thought that it could be another stone has me feeling sick! It's then that I start bargaining with God. If this isn't what I think it is I promise I'll never drink iced tea again! How ridiculous is that. I know that God is not one to be bargained with and on top of that He's gracious enough that he could heal me no matter what I do in return.

Today I'm feeling ok. Energy level is a bit higher, my back still feels weird but the pain is on both sides now meaning that it would not be a stone. It's probably just another case of being a human barometer which is not surprising due to the large amount of extreme weather we've been having this week.

The sad part, I type this as I drink a large glass of...iced tea! What is wrong with me, why is this so hard to give up! I think I need a 12 step program!!!

The One With the Blackout

(I apologize for any mistakes within this post which is being written via my phone)

The power is out, it has been for several hours now and PECO is expecting it to be out for several more. I'm OK with this. I love blackouts!!!

There was a Friends episode once where the power went out. I loved this episode, it was one of my favorites. I lOve those experiences where something happens that stops the norm and causes people to slow down and find fun in the unusual. Tonight has been exciting for me. I can feel the buzz around me neighborhood. People wondering how long this will last. People drawn outside who would normally never step foot outdoor to talk to a neighbor. All around me is pitch black, the only light that can be seen is coming from the Comcast building. That along with the low buzz of their generators. Let's face it, the cable company can never be without power! They are hard at work right now!

I find the fact that they have power amusing. The Comcast building is sort of like the Mecca of my neighbor. Since moving here over a year ago I've had several people ask me where I now live. I give them the name of the town, neighborhood and street and they all respond saying "I don't know where that is.". But follow it up with "I'm one block away from the Comcast building" and everyone instantly can picture my street!

Tonigt was quiet. No TV, know radio, know loud neighbors music. Just me. I folded laundry, played guitar for a bit, read a book and listened to the crickets chirp. It was fun.

When I was in middle school a tornado went trough my hometown and we were without power for over 4 days. My family saw this as an adventure. I have a lot of fond memories of that time. I've also never been one to be scared of storms. I kind of like them, the bigger the better. When I was younger my dad and I used to love sitting on the porch during storms listenging to the rain and watching the clouds. I remembe the first time i was ever allowed to stay home without my parents and was put in harge of my sister and i, a storm came and a tree fell on our house. I was told i handled this situation like a champ!

Tonight was no different. I was driving home right about when the storm started. I purposefully took the long way, past the creek to see if it flooded, through the woods to see if any trees had fallen (to grandmothers house we go?). I'm not sure why bu I kind of enjoy the drama of a big storm. Maybe it's because my dad is an EMT and tends to go towards disasters, not away. We would always stop to watch a good fire, accident or tree through a house. There have been several times throughout m life that my dad has heard a call come through his radio about something that happened and he looks at me with a smile on his face and says "wanna go see?". Does this make me weird? Strange? A little twisted? Maybe. I'm not even sure what it is I like about it but I do.

Tonight was fun, some down branches, some flooding, and a power outage...what more could my twisted little heart ask for?

Mr. Eveready

Tonight is a beautiful night! The windows are open, the crickets are chirping and there's a nice breeze coming in from the window. It seems peaceful. Then I hear something else, a lot monotonous sound. I know it's not the sump pump (I know for sure because it broke today, getting fixed tomorrow.) It must be...

Mr. Eveready!

Who is Mr. Eveready you ask? He is my neighbor, we share a common wall in my row home and the wall is thin, very thin, I'm sure it does not meet the code requirements for thickness and soundproofing. He likes music, of the loud screaming variety with...you guessed it...low monotonous bass lines!

Mr. Everyeady has been a source of conversation for me since I moved here over a year ago. When I was first moving in, coming to the house on weekends and nights to paint and get things ready for moving day I had a situation with the smoke detector one night. It kept beeping. I had not batteries to replace it with. I saw my new neighbor outside, introduced myself, apologized in case he could here the repetitive beeping and I said I'd be coming back with a battery tomorrow. He offered to go out and buy me a battery. I declined. I was a little freaked out by this offer. I know most people would think this was really nice but as a single woman moving into a new home it seemed a bit forward of him and I was instantly uncomfortable. I went about my evening, went home and came back the next day. Upon arrival I came up to my door to find that two 9 volt Eveready batteries had been taped to my door...and thus was the birth of...Mr. Eveready.

He is a kind, caring next door neighbor, who happens to annoy me a lot of the time. He is loud, he listens to loud music, he talks on the phone loudly, and runs up and down the stairs with a force in his feet that sounds like an elephant is going to come crashing through the wall. He also has a fantastic habit of jumping from about the 5th step from the bottom onto the landing causing the house to shake and scaring Mortimer.

The bathroom seems to have the thinnest wall in the entire house. I think that that is just about the worst room to be able to hear your neighbor in. I have herd him use the bathroom, get sick in the bathroom and then there was that awesomely awkward moment where he and a lady companion were in the shower. Each time I tip toe out hoping that he doesn't hear me and then in return have the knowledge that I have heard him.

I know that this is just sometimes what comes with homes being connected. In a way I think it's good for me. I tend to want to live in a secluded area that is far way from all people. It forces me to acknowledge that I'm not alone in the world and that others are around to witness my life. It also helps to point out all of my insecurities with being friendly to neighbors and people I wouldn't otherwise be friends with. But for tonight, I would just really like Mr. Eveready to turn the volume down!!!

The Best Movie I've Ever Seen...

Seriously!?!

I wouldn't even know how to narrow this down to 1.

But I can tell you about my all time favorite scene from a movie.

The scene comes from the movie Witness (1985) staring Harrison Ford.

The movie in and of itself is nothing epic, there are no special effects, it was not #1 in the box office and it did not win best picture, but this one scene makes it worth watching.

The movie takes place in rural Pennsylvania on an Amish farm. At one point in the movie one of the farmers is in trouble. The 'danger' kind of trouble. Anyone else in the world would call 911 in this type of situation, but they are Amish, no phones. At this point the grandfather signals to his grandson to ring a large bell mounted to the side of the house. The boys rings the bell about 5 times and what happens next takes my breath away every time I see it. The camera pans out and you see farmers from all of the nearby farms drop whatever farm tool they are holding and begin to run. The bell ringing at this particular time in the day signaled the need for help and these neighbors did not hesitate in answering the call. There is something so beautiful about this scene. A true depiction of community and unity among these people brings tears to my eyes whenever I see it.

At times I have watched this and thought "I wish I lived in a community like this," but then it occurred to me...I do!!! My community is my friends and family, and let me tell you they are some of the best!!! I have had moments in my life when I needed them immediately and they came running. Whether the need was emotional, physical, spiritual, or all of thee above, they have been there and I am confident they will continue to be there in the future.

Today was one of those days. I was a slug today. I slept in way too late and then continued to lie in bed after I was awake for much longer. I finally drug myself out of bed, went downstairs and then sat on the couch for what seemed like forever. I know that some days this sounds great, but not today. It was putting me in a funk. The more I sat, alone, the more down I felt. I needed someone. I drug myself out of the house to a place where a friend was working. Upon my arrival I walked up to him and simply said "I need human contact." He smiled, he new exactly what I needed. I sat down and started talking, we talked for the next few hours, about anything and everything. Then I went over to his home for dinner, spent time with his wife (A fantastic cook and just an awesome person in general) and helped put the kids to bed. It was like therapy. I have plans tomorrow to ensure this does not happen again.

These are the ways people run to my rescue. My friends know me. A simple sentence about needing human contact is translated to them as a warning bell that I need something and they answer to that call. They respond with a smile, good conversation, food and love. It's people like these that you want around you.

Martha

Martha is my legal birth name but I've have been called Marti by everyone since that same day I was born. For the longest time I hated the name Martha. It seemed old fashioned, outdated, and I did not feel that it describe me at all. Ironically enough when you look at Mary and Martha in the Bible I clearly show the characteristics of Martha in everything I do!

About 10 years ago my dear friend Dan found out my real name was Martha. He loves this name and (after a conversation about it) has been calling me Martha ever since. This is one of my closest friends and in his calling me Martha I really began to feel as if the beauty that he saw in this name was a reflection on me, who I am, and who God has created me to be. Whenever he called me by it, it felt as though it was such a heartfelt term of endearment. Like a bond that far surpasses friendship. To this day it brings joy to my heart when he and his family use my name, especially when his children refer to me as "Marfa!"

Over the past few years others (friends of Dan's and mine) have started referring to me as Martha. I have to be honest in saying that it does not feel the same. Where as Dan's 'Martha' comes from a place of love for me and a point of beauty in my life, it often feels that others refer to me by this name simply as the "in thing" or that they are my close friends and therefor think it's almost a right of passage to call me this. It's even gone as far as these people telling others not to call me this because they don't know me well enough! It has nothing to do with how well you know me. It's more about a special bond that has been created between 2 people by going through things together. Almost as if letting someone call me Martha is letting them into an even deeper more venerable part of me. Therefor it doesn't always feel comfortable when people outside of a select group of probably only 4 people calls me this. (interestingly enough these few people were the ones who actually asked me about it before calling me Martha. Almost as if they new it was a deeper place for me that they did not want to enter without permission.) Don't get me wrong, I love all of my friends which is why I let it go. I know they are just trying to love me back.

Today someone whom I have know for over 12 years referred to me as Martha for the first time. In his doing so, those 'term of endearment' feelings came flooding into my heart. It was as if someone else discovered who I am and the greatness that I have to offer this world. My heart was overflowing. I could not let it go unacknowledged. The small yet meaningful conversation (via text message) went like this.

Him: Thanks Martha, I appreciate it a lot.

Me: :) You called me Martha :)

Him: Yep, I think I might from now on

Me: Yup :)

This little conversation was a great ending to a great weekend!

Flesh and Bone

Last night I went to one of my favorite intimate venues to see Ethan Pierce perform!

It was amazing. His newest song which he performed last night had me in tears. It was so raw, stripped open, and honest that I could not hold back my emotions. It is not often that a song speaks so honestly about the reality of who we are and what needs to happen to get past ourselves. I was already amped up from the amazing night of worship I had before, but then this put me over the edge into that place where truth is so real and in your face that it leaves you ripped open and numb. It has been on my heart all day and I wanted to share it with you.

Flesh and Bone

Oh Lord, I fear surrender

I fear Your splendor King

Oh God, I'm scared of our face

So afraid of Your grace on me

Oh and I just want to be free

Oh Lord I know Your glory

Reaches so far beyond me

And I am so unholy

I do not even deserve to see

All that Your precious glory can be

I am flesh and bone

It seems like nothing more while I am on this earth

I am flesh and I am bone

Destined to become a part of the dirt

Oh God is this all I'm worth,

A numbered days and a burial scene?

Oh God do I have a spirit?

Do I even have a soul worth saving?

If it's so can You please save me?

And me with all these questions

All alone in venerability

It was there I felt Your presence

Like a foreign weight upon me

It was then that I became free

I am flesh and bone in my own eyes

And now I see there is so much more

If my flesh and bone be my demise

Strip it off so I am only soul

Only Yours

Only Yours

I am letting go, this is surrender

I am not my own, only Yours

I am not simply flesh and bone

There is a fire in my soul, in my soul

I am not my own, this is surrender

Music...it's so much better live!

Tonight was another music night!

Went to Burlap and Bean to see the wonderful Ethan Pierce play. A totally cool kid I've gotten to know over the past year. Having only ever heard him play in church I was unaware of the treat I was in for. His music is powerful, captivating, and drew emotions out of me that I didn't know were there! Well done my friend!

A guy by the name of Jonny Rodgers opened up for him. All I can say is that I was blown away. This man played a bunch of wine glasses like they were a piano. It was like nothing I've ever seen before!!! I don't think anyone in attendance would disagree with me. He was a totally unexpected bonus to the evening. If you get a chance to see him you should. Even if you're not into that kind of music, the experience alone is so awesome!!! (on a side note, he plays a lot of fund raisers for Love 146 which made him even higher on my respect list!)

Burlap & Bean was sold out tonight! Can I just say that I love this venue!!! (and I'm not just saying that because my friends own it.) It's an intimate, welcoming venue (BYOB!) with amazing caffinated beverages! Seeing musicians here is a very personal experience that can't be compared to other larger venues (they seat about 75.) My friend Kris and I are determined to convince the fantastic Adam Crossley to perform here!

It was a fantastic night.

Man I love live music!!!

Moths

They are nothing but pure evil!!!

I Hate them!!!

Actually...I'm terrified of them.

I have a phobia of moths, no matter what kind (yes Luna moths are evil too!) and I'm also not that fond of butterflies. I know this sounds strange. Butterflies? Seriously who doesn't like butterflies? Me! They are not as bad as moths, but lets face it, they are really just a prettier version. (I'm sure some bug-ologist would argue with that last statement...Oh Well!)

Over the years I've had many people try to talk me down off of this ledge explaining that they are harmless, can not hurt me and are actually fascinating creatures. Seriously people! Do you not know what a phobia is!?! It is an irrational fear, which means no amount of rationale will convince me otherwise!

The other night there was a moth in my house. I freaked. At first I thought it was a spider on the wall. (I know what you're thinking, most people would be afraid of the spider, but nope, not me, I hate the moth!) I got up to get it and it started flying. Holy Crap!!! What am I going to do!?! I'm by myself here, so I can't frantically scream for someone to come get it!!! (although I did text a friend screaming in capital letters that there was a 'MOTH IN THE HOUSE!') It's up to me! How am I going to do this!?! I grab a near by IKEA catalog, I must kill the moth (I really should invest in a fly swatter.) I inch closer and closer to the spot on the wall where the enemy has landed. My heart is pounding and I feel like I could vomit! I attack, slamming the catalog on the wall and hoping it does not escape and fly into my face (The worst possible thing about moths, they fly in your face!!!) I frantically jump away from the wall and begin searching, it went something like this.

-Where is it!?!

-Frantically look on the floor

-Don't see it

-Holy crap it must be in my hair!

-Frantically run hands through my hair

-Don't feel it

-It must be on my clothes!

-Frantically look over my clothes!!!

-Don't feel it.

-Frantically run hands all over clothes, it must be there

-Nope, still don't feel it

-Remove clothes, shake them out

-Inspect floor where moth most definitely has fallen out of clothing

-Nope, not there.

-I new it, it is in my hair!

-Frantically run hands through hair again.

-Still not there!

This cycle continued for the next ten minutes. Even later while sitting on my couch I still kept feeling my hair! I was so grossed out for almost the entire next hour. What is wrong with me? I acknowledge that this is really weird. I don't understand it either. All I know is that...

I HATE MOTHS!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just in case you were wondering, the moth was never found. I believe I successfully ended it's life or that the wrath of my catalog swinging was so intense that it left the premises!

Addendum

So a bit ago I posted this about awesomely unique names. I have to add more!!!

I forgot to mention a friends of mines son named Finnegan. Rad name!

Then today I saw a totally awesome name!

Are you ready!?!

...Lyric!

How fantastic is that!!!

This has opened up a completely new category to me of musical names. Oh how the world is my oyster in this category!!! My head is going to burst I'm so excited with this one!!!

I think in harmonies...

When working with some fellow worship leaders on bringing up some new singers a name was brought up and my friend commented "She's just like you Marti, she thinks in harmonies."

It's so true, I think in harmonies. When hearing a song, I will automatically go to the harmony. I sing along with most songs using harmony, I always want it to be there and I always think it sounds awesome! When I think of the word harmony i can't help but notice how much my love for harmony in music parallels in my life.

Dictionary.com defines harmony as:

the simultaneous combination of tones, especially when blended into chords pleasing to the ear; chordal structure, as distinguished from melody and rhythm.

This is so true about my life as well. Melodies are beautiful, but without the combination, dissonance and rich tones of harmony the song would sound very plain and not quite as beautiful. Harmonies are used to enhance something. Like me. I am not the norm. I do not go about things like most people. My life is like a harmony. The way I do things, the way I think and work through things, and the way I interact with others is different. But I feel like that difference is a harmony. A compliment to the way the rest of the world works in a way that makes it more beautiful. If everyone did things the same way this world would be very plain, it's the "harmonies" who think and do things outside of the box that make this word more interesting.

I'm OK with being different, it's my different-ness that makes this world better. It allows people to see a bigger, richer way to life then the "same old, same old." Sometimes there may be dissonance, which at first may not sound so wonderful. But dissonance in itself can be amazingly beautiful, and the resolution after, which brings out it's true beauty shows the need for it in the first place!

A Career 1st

Today I escorted a student...to the ER.

Yes it finally happened.

Working with special needs children this was bound to happen at some point, I just didn't expect it to happen with one of my favorites.

I love my students, sometimes I think I love them like they are my own children. I share stories about them with my friends and family, I gush over them, I love them! I admit I have some favorites. I can't help it. I often wonder if all teachers feel this way or if I'm abnormal in my love for them.

I've been working the last 3 weeks this summer at the schools camp program. I have different students then the ones I have during the school year which has been a nice change of pace but I miss my little kiddos. One imparticular. I love the crazy kids. The more nuts they are the more I love them. My most favorite kid is awesome. She's energetic, funny, active, and a dare devil. She will climb anything, you can't turn your back for a second!

Today when I heard that she got hurt my heart sank. I wanted to run to make sure she was OK. I instantly felt like no one could care for her as much as I could. I was worried, worried that she was not understanding what was happening or the the people around her weren't communicating in a way that she could understand. I'm sure that was not the case but I couldn't help myself. I managed to find a way to go see her. She was pathetic looking. Her normally energetic self was laying snuggled into the nurse, half asleep, with tears still down her face and dried blood around her mouth. She has fallen during one of her climbing adventures and her tooth went through her lip. Stitches were in her future! :(

The staff were discussing who would go with her to the hospital. Normally the teacher would go with them but her camp teacher was dealing with a personal family issue and our boss was pregnant so she did not want to go into a hospital (exposure to unnecessary germs) unless she had to. I gladly volunteered.

The interesting part is that I actually like hospitals. I know this is weird but I do. I was exposed to hospitals often as a child so I never developed that fear that they are a bad place. To me they are a place of healing where people walk in sick and leave healthy or are escorted into death with grace and dignity. Those are two beautiful things. Medical things also fascinate me. I'm not queasy around blood and I really love watching medical shows. It didn't bother me in the least to be going to a hospital.

Her mother was meeting us there so I didn't stay with her once we arrived but it made me feel good to be able to do this. I love my little "stinkers" and I would do anything for them. I'm just glad that by the time I left her that she was acting more like her normal self again. I'm sure this won't be the last of emergencies with students and I'm glad she was OK.

It's days like this that I'm reminded why I do what I do. When you take away all the drama and politics of teaching and strip it down to just my students, I love it.

They are the reason I do what I do!

Joy

Tonight has been nothing but true joy!

It was completely unexpected!

• Went to a friends house to watch a movie.
• Had a serious conversation that was great.
• Decided to watch a bit of the movie with low expectations, thought we watch about 20 minutes, then probably turn it off and go home (since our movie watching was delayed due to conversation.)
• Watched Arthur (It was surprisingly unexpected! Funny! Watched the entire thing!)
• Watched hysterically funny home videos (#2, #3, #4) of Abby's kids being crazy! (don't remember the last time I laughed that hard, my face and my stomach hurt, kept laughing on the way home.)
• Drove home listening to this song on repeat!

Seriously what could make a better night!?!

(this post can't even do it justice!)

(On a side note, that Adam Crossley song is like a drug. No matter what kind of mood I'm in it makes me happy. It's one of the few songs that when listening to I actually feel like moving...some might even call it dancing! Brings a smile on my face every time.)

:)

Clothes

I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl! Always have been.

I think this should be the uniform for life.

I had to dress up today. :( I am not a fan of dressing up. I hate it. (I think this is mostly due to a poor self image issue but that's another post for another time.) But today's dress up issue came with a whole new level of difficulty...the guitar.

Friends of mine were married today and I played at their wedding. Although I've played at 100's of weddings (that's not an exaggeration, from 1998-2001 I played harp on the weekends, mostly weddings) this was only my second wedding playing guitar. The last one was in the winter and I had a cast on my foot so pants were totally acceptable, almost necessary, but today I had to wear a dress. I've never played guitar in a dress.

There a lot to think about here:

-how does the dress look

-am I comfortable

-is it too low cut

-will the guitar strap pull it in a weird way

-can I move my arms in it (some dresses are more restrictive then they look!)

-I'm going to sweat when I play (always happens!) will it show in this dress

-how short can the skirt be and still allow me to plug in and set up pedals

-Will it photograph well (lots of picture taking at weddings)

Then came a question that I never thought I'd think about...

Does this dress match my guitar?

Yup, I actually thought that. My guitar is beautiful, I love it, but it's very feminine and a little folk looking. An edgy dress would just look silly with it. Almost like it portrays an image and my clothes need to follow. This is a weird thought because when picking my jeans and t-shirt for the day this thought never crosses my mind, but the dress situation had my mind spinning. In the end I picked the more feminine dress over the sleek dress. I was happy with my choice.

The irony is that I have made fun of a friend of mine for this so many times. He often chooses his guitars to match his shirt. Yes, his is a bit opposite, when you have guitars the number well into the double digits you can dress first and choose the guitar second. I on the other hand don't have that option. (Technically I have 4 guitars, but only 2 are actually worthy of playing, and currently only one is working.)

Needless to say it was an interesting process.

Isn't she beautiful!?!

Sara J. and Sarah M.

First day of school was always an awkward one for me. The teacher would take roll, and call out...Martha! I was mortified, I hated my name, no one even called me that, the kids would snicker, and I would correct the teacher to please call me Marti. (Then I'd also have to clarify that it was spelled with an "i" not a "y.") Over the years I have come to love both of my names and now have some people who refer to me solely as Martha. It has almost become a term of endearment (when used by a few select people. I still prefer Marti by most) I feel worse for the Sara's of this world. Growing up I had 2 of them in my class so they were simply referred to by their first name and last initial. To me that would be horrible.

After my post last night about my favorite baby friends I got to thinking about names. My friends are some of the best namers I've ever known. I love unique names. One of the things I like about my name now is that I've never met anyone (at least under the age of 80) with my name and I've never met another female with my nick name. It's unique, just like me, and I like that. When (not if) I have children I want them to have unique names. They may hate me for it as children but will appreciate it later in life. I'm always taking note of unique names.

Here are some of the good ones I've come across!

• Rowan & Genevive (the girls)
• Remy & Andrew (OK so Andrew's not that unique but if you new his parents it's very unique for them)
• Skye (sister of the previously mentioned boys)
• Aquinnah (Michael J Fox's daughter, one of my absolute favorite names!)
• Addison
• Enoch (and his brother Orion)
• Jakin
• Greyson
• One of the blogs I follow is written by a mother with 3 awesomely named children Saylor, Raimy, and Renn.
• One of my favorite bands consists of Reeve and his brother Zane.
• Xander and Dwell (another set of twins!)
• Lightning (father of the previously mentioned twins)
• My sister is Jodi (not as unique as some but higher up on the list than most)

The list goes on and on, these are just a few I could think of right now. Needless to say I love unique names!

...with my luck I'll fall in love and marry a man who loves names like Joe, Sue, and Bob!

Twins don't run in my family... they run in my friends!

It's true, I know a lot of twins. I have 5 friends who have twins and I am good friends with another set of twins. They follow my family. My mom and sister are the same way :)

I love twins!

Within the past few years I have been blessed beyond belief with the privilege of helping to care for 2 sets of twins after they were born.

Easily some of the best times of my life thus far!

Meet the girls!

Rowan and Genevieve

(Children #1 and 2 of the amazing Emily!)

Meet the Boys!

Remy and Andrew

(surprise children #4 and 5 of the awesome Abby!)

Don't ask me who is who in each picture because I have no idea!

Getting the opportunity the help care for these newborns was an experience like no other. I was able to bless two wonderful, yet exhausted moms, I was given an overabundance of cuddle time with newborns (simply the best therapy there is!) and learned more about caring for babies (and nursing) then I thought possible! I can honestly say that every second I spent with them was full of joy!

The girls are 4 now and they are some of the most lovable, hugable, hysterical kids I've ever met!

Seriously they have me laughing every time I see them. Emily shared a story with me that I think is so funny I have to share it with you.

These girls play the most fantastic games. I have allergies, (a lot of them) and the girls know this. There was one day where a time-out was given because they kept finding latex balloons (my kryptonite!) in the house and bringing them to me. I explained several times to these confused little people that I could not be around the balloons and they must stay in the bedroom while I'm over. They didn't understand, why should they, but desperate times were fast upon me and a time-out was warranted to teach them the seriousness of my situation. It must have made an impact because they played an awesome game the other day. They were pretending to be dogs, the dogs name was Martha (or "Marfa" when they say it, my real name) and Martha was allergic to her collar. How fabulous is that! I mean, if they want their pretend characters to be allergic to something then of course their name would have to be Martha!

I love it!

(I now refer to this as the Allergy game!)

Sunny Day Blues

This morning I woke up, the sun was shining, and I had a crappy day! Work was stressful. I tried to do something the right way instead of lying (the way that was suggested to me by several people.) Apparently taking the moral road doesn't always work out in a immoral world. This led to conflict in my soul. Do I keep trying the honest way and trust that if the result I'm looking for is meant to be that God will give me favor with my boss or do I give up? How willing am I to stand my ground on what I believe no matter how much it sets me apart from my co-workers? Am I ready to be the person who brands herself as different for the sake of pursing the things I think God has for me? Unfortunately, I'm not sure. And thus the stress began.

These kind of days rock me. The OCD in my takes these things and runs with them until I'm so spun around that I can't find my due north. Luckily I have friends who are good listeners. I let go on them. They respond with sound advice. I took my time going home, stopping at various places to visit people. This is a decompression tactic. Going directly home after a day like this will make things worse. At each pit stop along my journey the weight I was carrying became less and less. Then upon arrival at my final destination (aka- home) it started to rain.

I love rain! Rain makes me happy. I know some people approach rain with an "I hate my life, this days sucks, I wanna slit my wrists attitude," but not me. It make me happy!!! There's something about a gray sky and wet earth that makes everything look more beautiful. Greens look brighter, browns look richer, and everything feels more peaceful to me. This was a great stress reliever. As I'm sitting here typing I can hear the rain on my living room window and the sound is so calming. No matter how hard companies have tried, no sound machine will ever do it justice!

I can feel that needle turning again, North is in sight. Over the years I've learned the strategies that allow me to take on a day like this and not let it stick with me too long. And the best part, everyone once in a while, I get a little extra help! (Thanks for the rain. :)

(I promise tomorrow will be more upbeat!)