At small group last week we were talking about crazy things God has done. Stories that will show His power and motivate us to do more. I had one. I didn't want to share it. But I had to. A few people there new this story and I could feel there eyes looking at me so I shared this...
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Several years ago friends and I were hanging out at my friend Patrick's house. Patrick has some awesome stories. Stories of crazy things he's seen God do. They are fascinating and he is good at telling them. My friend Mark and I had heard many of them before and were to the point where we would request some of them again and again. We were like kids sitting at the foot of a relative begging them to tell us crazy things about their past. I loved these nights. They were inspiring to me and gave me hope that I too could see crazy things happen.
I went home and that night laying in bed I prayed, God I want stories like that. I want you to use me like that. I want to be part of amazing things happening. About 3 minutes later I had a thought run through my head that was louder then a freight train say "Go to the Wawa in West Chester and tell the guy behind the counter that God loves him." I immediately got a picture in my head of the guy. (Rewind another few years. I had seen this guy on WCU's campus. Some of my friends new him from a former church and said hi to him once. God really knows what He's doing because for some strange reason I remember that 30 second encounter like it happened yesterday.)
Immediately I panicked. This couldn't be God. God you can't possible want me to do that. That's crazy! That's scary! That will make me look like a fool! Give me something easier! This was all too much for me. I went to bed. For the next several weeks I argued with God back and forth. This was nuts, I couldn't do it, blah, blah, blah!
Uncle!!!
Finally one night I gave in. Got in my car and drove out to West Chester (about 40 minutes from where I lived at the time.) I pull up to the Wawa. There he was standing out front, smoking a cigarette with some other guys. He had blue hair :) He actually looked like someone I would want to hang out with. Fun, not stuck up, a little rebellious. Way cooler then a lot of people I knew from church who quite frankly, were a bit boring and nerdy.
Holy Shit!!! I can't do this! I left. All the way home I kept reasoning with God. You don't need me to do this. My friends said they new him from church, he already knows You, he doesn't need this. By the time I got home I felt so guilty. Why was I such a coward (not the word I used but for the sake of the readers I will edit myself!) It was then that this began to gnaw at my soul. God had asked me to do something. Who was I to say no? For the next several weeks I drove to that Wawa 2 or 3 times a week. Every time I went, he was not there. I had failed, not just myself but God as well. What was wrong with me. I gave up and accepted that God changed his mind due to my lack of boldness and didn't want to use me.
About a month later I was visiting some friends in West Chester and needed gas on the way home. I naturally stopped at Wawa. On the way there it occurred to me that he might be there. Upon pulling into the parking lot I saw him at the counter. My heart started pounding, I felt nauseous, I was sweating. I can't do this! (I have since learned that when those symptoms occur it's because I am absolutely supposed to do it.)
I sat in the car. Got out and pumped my gas, and then got up enough courage to walk inside, but instead of going to pay, I made a bee line for the bathroom. I stood in the stall, praying. God, if you really want me to do this (I know, I'm a little slow) then there has to be no one in line behind me. Seriously!? Who reasons with God like that. Me that's who, I was desperate. I left the bathroom and went to pay and miraculously there was no one in line behind me. Crap!!! Come on people, don't you want to pay right now!?! Why do you all have to be so slow at picking out what kind of chips to eat!!!
It was now or never. I went to pay, gave my pump number, handed my cash and then with every once of boldness I could muster said "You know, God really loves you. I can just see it by looking at you." TIME FROZE!!! I did it!!! (Yes this is another one of those moments where I should be more concerned for the other person but kinda forgot about them due to my own excitement.) I finally looked at him. He looked frozen, money in hand, cash register open, just staring at me. He might deny it but it really looked like his eyes were welling up with tears.
What had I done? Did I hit a nerve? Maybe I was really supposed to do this. (I know, I'm pretty much a dumb ass when it comes to these things!) I then started to feel really awkward. I was that person, that freak, that crazy Christian that I hate. Or was I? He politely said "Thank You," but it was the kind of thank you that comes out in such a way that you know the person really, truly means it. That thank you hit my heart hard. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.
I left. On my drive home I was overflowing. I'm not sure with what but it was a good feeling. I guess it was joy now that I'm thinking about it. It just felt like God was blessing me. I was on cloud 9! It was like all those months of fighting with God about this and chickening out didn't matter any more. I had done what I was supposed to do.
Now in most cases of others stories I've heard this would be the end, but I got lucky. A while later some friends of mine went on a missions trip to Mexico. When they got home they had a night at their church to come hear about it. I went. My Wawa guy was there! He had gone on the trip with his family! Are you freaking kidding me?!? I got to hear stories about what had happened there, what he was apart of. It was almost like God was saying "See, you should listen to me more often!" I'm not sure what my "Wawa guy" (as my friends refer to him) is up to know and I'm not sure just what kind of impact that night had on him. All I know is that he has a beautiful wife and son, write hysterical face book posts, and he was part of one of the biggest life changing moments of my life.
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Later it occurred to me that almost all of Patrick's crazy God stories took place in bars...maybe this type of thing is a little easier when you have a few drinks in you!!!
1 comment:
Profound and beautiful, thanks for sharing.
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