There has been a video circling through Facebook the past few days. I saw the title and was skeptical but so many people had posted it so I gave a listen. (If you have yet to hear it feel free to click the link below and give a listen.)
Although I understand the motive behind this particular young man's words and what his heart is trying to convey, I'm struggling with the title and the issues that have been stirred up in my heart because of the many responses I've read. I am a Christian and I am approaching this from the Christian perspective and the things I've seen in the lives of those around me based on this topic. My posts are not usually this religious based so I apologize in advance. :) I'm also having a extremely difficult time organizing my thoughts on this topic so please excuse me if this post seems a little more dis-jointed than most.
I think there is a fine line between teaching your children how to think verses teaching them what to think. I believe the former is something that gives children tools they can use all throughout their lives while the latter can be so damaging. I've seen more 20 somethings then I would like who get to that point in their lives where they are no longer living in the parents home, under their rules and beliefs, fall apart because of this very thing: they were not taught how to think and instead were instructed what to think. I've always struggled with the verse "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." I struggle with the word 'train.' In my mind I've always thought 'you train a dog, you teach a person.' Training a dog is teaching them exactly how you want them to act and getting them to respond on command when you say so. Why would we want our children to be like this. Why would we want a "stepford church" that does what it's told and has pre-programed responses to all things without any personal thought behind them. Where is there even room for God in that? (Don't get me wrong, I know there a others ways to interpret this passage then the one I just provided, my concern is with people who do interpret it like this and the damage that can lead to.)
I find it very sad to see people reach that point in their lives where they have left the nest and are able to sore, only to find that they have been so sheltered up to this point that they freeze like a dear in he headlights, realizing that there a huge parts of humanity they know nothing about. I've seen more people question their faith at this point in their lives than any other. To be honest I don't blame them. The Christian church stands on the premise that each person must make the decision to follow god on their own accord, but how can someone truly follow something without the knowledge of their options? In order to qualify something as a belief has to come with the counter part that you are choosing to believe even though there is a possibility that it could not be true. We could all be wrong. That is what makes a belief a belief.
I consider myself lucky to have grown up in a home where beliefs were not taught, but rather encouraged. I consider myself lucky to have gone to a public school where I had the opportunity to learn about multiple world religions. I consider myself lucky to have family who loves me, although we don't always see 100% eye-to-eye on what we believe, there is freedom to make our own choices. When the time came for me to choose what I believe, I felt as though I had all the tools and information I needed to form my own opinions and decide for myself.
I have more friends than I would like who were raised in Christian homes and abandoned those beliefs once leaving the nest. It saddens me to see young adults working through emotions and social situation that most people I know (myself included) went through in their pre-teen or teenage years. And the way the Church responds can be even worse. I've seen a lot of impatience with these people. I've heard things like "they know better," "they're just going through a phase," and "why are they being so stupid."
Although I know this young man used the word "brainwashed" as a satire to make his point, I can't help but think of people who have truly felt this way and how hurt they have been from the responses of others. It has been my experience that people in this situation need space. Space to learn how they actually feel about various things and time to learn how their brain works through these things. They need people to give them time to work through it on their own without people constantly giving them their opinion of what they think they should believe. And most importantly they need unconditional love. Love that is not dependent on what they believe and the knowledge that that love will still be there even if we never reach a place where our beliefs are similar.
Please don't take my frustration as judgement for those who liked this video or judgement towards parents. I understand that everyone raises there children in different ways and I have no right to criticize or judge their choices, my only concern is how we as a church can care for young adults going through the process of leaving the nest and what kind of love and support is best in helping them to become the individuals that I now God wants them to be.
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